You're the Worst

I think it's bizarre though perhaps not ultimately unexpected that millennials suffer with weight loss more than the previous generation. It really can't be all about diet and exercise.

It's a provocative title but actually something aspirational.

growth mindset!

I had read about this briefly in that book about how the internet is making us stupid. it's really amazing what the brain can do. might add some neuroscience to the ol' reading list.



Responses
1. Yes, there are downfalls to reusable bags but ultimately if you already have reusable bags and wash them frequently in hot water with your normal laundry, I don't really see a downside. Perhaps the upside is not that high but still, no downside.

2. Not really my style but much better than my place now.

3.It's true and unfortunately will be overlooked. I link it to if the people fighting against the Redskins logo really cared about how Native Americans were depicted, wouldn't they work harder to improve the actual conditions of Native Americans? That's in some ways easier to do because you are working on your own team rather than against another group.

4. I feel like you would be able to taste the sissy in the steak.

5. Not sure I agree with "There is no such thing as an unaffected fashion choice." I mean, at some point you just need clothing and maybe you buy whatever is most convenient for you to cover yourself. I believe some people are like this - probably hermits.

I did find the article fascinating though. It does seem that because America is so class-unconscious now that we are liberated to wear whatever we want. Our richest people wear jeans so we are free to wear whatever we want.

6. I guess that's true. But I don't want this to break out in another Mommy wars about how stay at home moms are better for having all that time....

7. I guess we'll have to watch that documentary. Looks like some solemn fun.

R2R
1. Yeah I posted it not so much for what is actually in it but because it was exactly the issue I was grappling with. I am sorry for subjecting you to the writing. =P

2. Maybe you can use a fork and knife? Eh, just get your hands dirty!

4. I wonder how many people would want this on a plane. I figured we were the only ones. =P

R2R2R2R

1. Also the name is so pretty. Rose!

2. And that's probably one of the reasons why I don't watch The League. =P

7. Aww I thought your explanation of that joke was really adorable, if not funny. =P

R2R2R2R2R2R
1. But is this really even a problem? Yeah you're offended and you feel like you need to tell me. Too late. I already said it. And I'm probably not talking to you anymore so...

4. Pretty sure all the Tiger-mom haters are going to have a beef with your statement there.

Living in America (I Feel Good!)

Perhaps reusable bags aren't the winning solution they've been purported to be.

What do you think of this home?

This account of the racial issues surrounding policing, more than any account I've read from the activists and Black Lives Matter crowd, seems more persuasive as a true look at the difficulties of dealing with interactions between many black people in tough neighborhoods and the police.

This might be the sissy's way out of cooking a perfect steak, but perfectly cooked steak may be worth it.

Why do Americans dress so casually?

McKernan sent this article about quality time around.

There's a short documentary from ESPN on one of the moments after 9/11 that I remember most.

Responses:

1. I don't like his writing, I'm not sure I understand his thinking, I really don't like that "I was in deep meditation" is a valid excuse for being late, and I don't like his writing (I guess I really don't like his writing). But that said, to the extent that it was helpful for you to see that punctuality can be a trigger in others, then that's good.

2. I would definitely try it - I've never liked the bun that much. The only issue is that a bun is helpful to keep your hands clean and keep things together (as well as to provide some balance). If the bun substitute is different (e.g. mac and cheese, chicken, donuts), it may not perform that role as well.

3. I don't think changing the whole fabric of society is necessary. I think with each passing day, it's becoming easier and easier for women to ask for raises, take chances, etc., because social conditions are changing gradually, the only way they ever change. But if there are women (or men too - not every guy is irrationally overconfident) who reject this way of doing things and want to create a different kind of business where you don't have to ask for raises or exaggerate your experience or whatever, then there are opportunities to do that, and we have seen partial examples recently.

4. Would this be available on a plane? In any case, it does solve some problems.

5. You should have seen the pictures my Instagram friends took - just as lovely as this one.

R2R:

1. There are likely legitimate questions about the optimal level of homework, and I suspect that some students need more practice, some students want a more in-depth look at a topic, and others have it cold after fewer repetitions and aren't that interested in exploring further. And perhaps one student could wear any of those hats depending on the subject or even topic within a subject. It's yet another reason why a more individualized approach might be useful. More broadly, there are questions about the purpose of homework, and I think those get at your observation about how we are measuring this issue.

4. I agree about Monopoly. I think there is a generally modern liberal trend that shuns tradition in favor of newer, allegedly better ways, but I'm retired from learning new board games.

R2R2R:

1. I've only ever had it at wine tastings, and it's never been that impressive. It's not that I don't like it at all, but rather that I'll never pick it and don't get the appeal, which I'm persuaded is just the color.

2. If you watched The League, you should know that good-natured ribbing is an essential part of being in any fantasy football league. :)

5. It was point 7 in the article. It's just kinda insane that over the (thousands of) years we've managed to turn dogs (or other animals) from wild beasts into legitimately man's best friend. And yes.

7. It's a joke that Jamitto and I loved to deploy in college (but one that extends beyond us, certainly). Whenever someone who has typically been opposed to your general belief structure (usually in politics) says or admits something that can generally be construed as in support of your position, contrary to previous statements, you are suggesting that they are slowly (but surely) coming around to your position completely, or becoming "one of us" (you and your fellow position-holders). It's usually said in a sort of chant, as if it's happening at some sort of initiation welcoming you to the club. Also, I don't think I can keep explaining jokes to you because pretty soon it means you're not going to find anything funny. :P

R2R2R2R:

1. What counts as objectively offensive does change over time. People in Birmingham can't say the n-word in public anymore, and doing so would be objectively offensive compared to 1925, when it may not have been. But the rules for determining what is objectively offensive (i.e. as a member of society, you are on inquiry notice that saying or doing that thing is likely to offend people) should stay the same. My fear is that, with this trigger warning crap, not only is the content of what is objectively offensive changing (I don't really care as much), but also the manner by which we determine what is objectively offensive is changing as well (from some version of societal consensus with inquiry notice to trigger warnings where notice is impractical or even impossible).

4. Basically, the presence of a highly educated Asian-American minority in the United States has led some people to believe that all of Asia has the same level of education as this Asian-American minority, and that is not accurate. The sample of Asian-Americans in the United States (and probably in Western Europe as well) is not representative of Asians as a whole, in part because highly educated Asians leave Asia for the United States and Western Europe, which have more opportunities for prosperity. Our public education leaves a lot to be desired, but, like the article, I am working against the stereotype that Asian-Americans are generally smart because Asians are smarter than everyone else in favor of the more accurate statement that Asian-Americans attain high education levels because their parents did and do focus on education and have high education levels themselves, which is one of the reasons why their parents are in the United States in the first place. Rather than looking at Asian-American students as a threat to the ability of other American children to attain a high level of education (which is what the first, wrong statement suggests), we can look to Asian-American parents as role models for other parents and a sign that any student can boost his educational level if teachers, parents, and society hold him to a higher standard.

B

Mac&Cheese Burger

I read this article after looking for writing about trigger friendships. I'm not sure if this is that helpful but it's interesting that someone else has thought about this.

Would you try this? Is this "change the bun" hamburger thing spreading? I thought it would have stopped with the double down and the ramen burgers.... And if so, should we welcome this trend?

A theory on why women are less likely to be entrepreneurs than men. Of course, it seems that to change this, in some ways we'd have to basically change the whole fabric of society.

Solves all the problems we had on the plane with regard to watching movies...



Don't you want to go to Greece?


responses
1. I've heard that kids these days receive way too much homework but I don't know what to think about that. Are the homework assignments frivolous? Are we teaching our kids too much? I assume we likely don't provide as much annual homework as they do in many other countries because I think other countries have longer school years. I think we'd have to provide much more homework to come out even. But what I found to be the most confounding thing about this whole article is measuring amount of homework by hours it takes to get done. Doesn't it make sense that the kids with poorer educational backgrounds (like the U.S.) report spending more time on it than kids in the Netherlands?

2. It's kinda sad to see her go but she's so inspiring. (And yoox has a very different feel from net-a-porter. I wonder how that's going to work out).

3. That was a much better profile. I think it's really smart that he's asking these questions like why are blacks worse off now than they were 30 years ago? Also, I had no idea he was so old. No wonder he has written so much!

4. I understand there are better games but there's something to be said about a common culture and Monopoly is a commonality Americans share. As is Hungry Hungry Hippos. It's that nice idea that everything is coming full circle playing monopoly with your kids just like your parents played monopoly with you. It's not quite the same if you force your kids only to play the newest and best games.

5. That quiche looks amazing but I don't think we should make that many ribs unless we have company over...

6.Pretty sure they didn't think about it. Just eat your lunch in your fancy dining room, serf!

R2R

1..You don't like rose (the wine, I can't figure out how to do the accent)?

2. I think I watched the first ep. I did not understand it at all. But aww remember how you set up that fantasy football draft and you made fun of me for coming in dead last? Good times. =P

4. I have that fear of running completely out of money too. They say a lot of women have that fear, poor or not. I think the Cracked article is really good but people always reference it to mean "hey, you can't blame poor people for being poor" even though he is basically saying he had to figure out how to overcome these things in order to do better. On the second part, I'm not saying we have to live like that but I appreciate how they supported each other through tough times and it will mirror our support for each other under not-nearly-so-tough times.

5. What stuff about domestication? Is the remake of Cosmos that thing that Neil Degrasse Tyson hosts?

7. What do you mean "one of us"?

8. *hugs*

R2R2R

1. But don't the rules of subjective offense change with the times too? What if most people are offended by something now? Shouldn't that now be objectively offensive even though it was not objectively offensive before?

4. I am totally confused by the statement " If the vast majority (or even a simple majority) of Chinese students in China were smart enough to enroll at TJ and do well, then we would have scrapped our system for theirs years ago." Not because I think a simple majority of Chinese students can but probably a simple majority of Dutch children probably could and we don't switch our educational systems to whatever they do there. (Not saying we should because there are other factors at play but it seemed like an odd statement to make.). I will agree that there is nothing intrinsic in terms of anyone's race that helps them to succeed.

R2R2R2R2R
2. Bear is the best ENTJ there ever was, with all the best attributes. Though he might spew logic a little...=D

5. Yes, but what if your employer offers multiple plans like we have here. Is the HSA the best option for me?

Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

I really hope this isn't the first in a long line of "kids today!" posts.

Things are changing for Net-a-Porter.

Here is a likely better profile/interview of Thomas Sowell than what you read.

Notwithstanding the data provided here, I'd still like to play Monopoly with my kids, if only to enjoy the moment described by Louis CK in the embedded video. (Also, I've never heard of those other board games.)

I want to make these two recipes when I get back.

How far down is "paying associates more" on the list of things to do with extra money?

Responses:

1. Not sure I can endorse the heavy rosé emphasis, but there's plenty to like about a culinary trip to France.

2. Have you watched The League? It's one of my favorite shows, but 1) it's about fantasy football, 2) it's a touch vulgar, and 3) it's probably not for you. (That said, I got the same three shows.)

3. That's a great idea. I think smartphones can make us safer (even if they usually just make us dumber).

4. On the first post, the bit at the end (being constantly worried that something mysterious will come and take all my money) is something I occasionally freak out about. Having the emergency fund helps, but it's still a lingering feeling that's hard to turn completely off. The Cracked article (not to mention her sisters) reminds me of my siblings and mom and dad's family. I think we were evicted at least 4 times when I was a kid, and my dad definitely had issues paying the power bill, but likely because at least in part of my personality, I always looked at them and said (sometimes aloud, sometimes just to myself), "You're doing it wrong." I probably over-manage my budget because of this. On the second post, WE ARE NOT LIVING LIKE THAT. My student loan debt is firmly under control. We are not poor. We can have two cars (or live in a place where we can walk to eat dinner).

5. The stuff about domestication is the most interesting part to me. It randomly came up in the remake of Cosmos.

6. Not sure what to do with this information...

7. One of us! One of us!

8. I'm procrastinating from doing my DTEs by reading an article about procrastination. Part of the reason that I'm procrastinating is that I feel guilty and anxious about doing my time entries. I'm anxious because I didn't do a good job of recording them for the last week, and I feel guilty because that means my entries won't be as precise. But the other reason for both is that I took (in my view) way too long to do the work, sometimes procrastinating in the middle of the work, so my time entries are vague and also involve large, possibly indefensible chunks of time. I procrastinated on the initial work because it's hard to focus on it for long enough to get it done. Oh, what a mess...

R2R:

1. In a nutshell, it changes the rules of society from punishing objective offense, which requires people to have common ground with respect to the fundamental rules and norms of society and to try to have a dialogue about how we should communicate with each other, to punishing subjective offense, which allows people to make it up as they go and allows people to decline to learn from each other or work with each other. It's why these requests for "dialogue" are anything but.

2. Investors won't lend to students who they think will screw them on the payment. Obviously the future is hard to predict, but so it is with unsecured debt of all kinds (e.g. why not buy a whole bunch of flights on your credit card and, when they come to collect your property, you don't have any?). Also, that strategy is kinda like shooting yourself in the foot. If you truly want to pursue a life of no income, then good luck getting a loan at the outset, but presumably, you want to maximize your income, and you still get to keep the vast majority of what you earn. The vast majority of students just want to go to college and seek gainful employment so they can have families and enjoy their lives. All this said, I do agree that these loans would probably work best with in-state tuition payments, where the amounts are not going to be insane. I suspect this is how investors would prefer them (unless you promise to do something lucrative). Also, if the school itself invests, there is your incentive to reduce costs in order to maximize your return.

4. The 4% number is meant to suggest that it is not the case that Asia necessarily looks like Asian-Americans with respect to education. I suspect that, as the article suggests, highly educated Chinese people can (and often do) more easily immigrate to the United States for better opportunities, etc., and their kids have a similar level of educational attainment to their parents. If the vast majority (or even a simple majority) of Chinese students in China were smart enough to enroll at TJ and do well, then we would have scrapped our system for theirs years ago. Instead, I think there is selection bias that perhaps has created a (positive?) stereotype for all Asians in America. With, of course, the rest of the caveats in the article. I don't know what people will take away from the article, but the takeaway should be that Asian-Americans do well because of factors that are independent of their Asian heritage.

5. Have you been to Bodo's?

R2R2R:

2. I'm a little different from the described INTJ in that I don't just spew logic or information (I make specific arguments, though maybe it's because I've been to law school, my knowledge isn't narrow (I've always liked the expression "jack of all trades, master of none," except modified to be a master of one or two), I don't attack the person (I always attack the argument unless there is strong reason to believe it is pretextual, in which case I just disengage), and more generally, I'm a little more social then these descriptions suggest. For you, I think the differences are a little more pronounced

5. Unless the law changes, your best option will almost always be what your employer provides, if only because they provide it to you as an non-taxable benefit. I pay $0 in premiums per year, and any plan on an exchange or elsewhere will be significantly more than that, plus co-pays, co-insurance, etc.

R2R2R2R:

1. I suspect that any "mom" committee would be flawed from conception. I mean, the Cris Carter comments happened during the Rookie Symposium, which was created in part to help new NFL players adjust to being professional.

5. Law schools can and do have skin in the game, but it's important that such skin not create moral hazard for students. The primary losers in the student loan system as currently structured are students because they are stuck with the loans, but if law schools are involuntarily on the hook for the loans, then student might have more of a moral hazard to take out too much in loans and take non-profit jobs. If law schools didn't have a guaranteed source of income from federal loans, then their skin in the game would be their reputations and ability to attract quality students, knowing that said students would have to persuade lenders to lend them money to go to their school.

B

Big Bear In Europe

Next party: French-themed!

I took this quiz and they said I should watch The League, Portlandia and Comedy Bang Bang.

Universities can probably save a lot of money by not installing any more of those blue safety lights.

I'm only going to post these two more posts from legallyobligated. (the blog actually isn't very long). this one about how money doesn't fix poverty, which might resonate with you and this one because it's about how they stuck together to pay off her debt, kinda what I envision us doing. =P but we'll do it in a more glamoous way of course.

Because more cuteness is always welcome but now, with science!

Berlin is weird

Fixed/growth mindsets keep following me! I saw this quote on themeetcute: “If I accept the other person as something fixed, already diagnosed and classified, already shaped by his past, then I am doing my part to confirm this limited hypothesis. If I accept him as a process of becoming, then I am doing what I can to confirm or make real his potentialities.” —Carl R. Rogers (via fyp-psychology)

Late addition: on procrastinating

Responses

1. OMG I can't believe you posted this. I kept banging my head on my desk reading it! It's taken me 3 days!

I  think my main problem with trigger warnings -besides those listed is this: "A trigger warning, they wrote, “serves as a guarantee that students will not experience unexpected discomfort and implies that if they do, a contract has been broken.” I read an article - maybe you sent it - where a person was "triggered" by the name, Steve - the name of her attacker. Of course, no one could know that. And if you've had a traumatic experience, reading about a terrifying experience may trigger the memories but so many things could. Particular smells, sounds, tastes, experiences. The real problem with trigger warnings is that they 1) they trigger you needlessly on the syllabus before you even get to be triggered and 2) it mistakenly guarantees you peace of mind. But I did appreciate the idea that shielding people from their fears is a bad idea. It's like the peanut allergy crisis all over again.

2.I don't understand how this is good for the investor. For instance, Purdue is $40k/year out of state. If an investor gives a promising student $160k and gets 15% back over the next 10 years, and the kid makes $100k/year, that's only $150k at the end. And those are the highest terms proposed and a salary that is clearly above the norm. Furthermore, if the guy wants to take a year off, it seems like he can without consequence. Or take a low-paying job. Won't colleges have to slash their prices for this to be viable?

3. Yes. =P Well, you are in any case.

4. I'm not so confident in this article. They say that the Chinese don't value education as highly as we think they do and they cite that only 4 percent of China’s population has a college degree but only a small proportion can get into Chinese colleges or afford to send their kids abroad. China is also trying to beef up their technical and vocational schools for their future workforce needs - something that their parents are rallying against because it seems to shunt their kids towards a lower tier. Also, China places great emphasis on education. You can't really get a great job without being highly educated - or at least it's much more difficult than America. (I think 1-2 of China's 10 richest people doesn't have a college or high school degree. I guess Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates also don't but that's a little different).

In any case, I think people will take from this article that Chinese people aren't actually that smart - which might be good news - but I think the better take-away is that children, nay people, do better if they're expected to do better. It'd be great if every child could be treated with the belief in their ability that Asian students are.

5. Scrambled egg breakfast sandwich? Sacrilege!

6. Very interesting. And it's true what they say about cars. More people drive in these public-transit friendly cities than people realize.

R2R

2. In what ways?

4. WAY off. =P They're probably around the same age though.

5. Takes one to know one. Also, I kinda want to know what health insurance I should get. I pay seemingly endless bills but haven't tried other options. I really have no idea what a better option would be.

6. Haha true. Or any picture of Ross next to the poo emoji. Poo is happy even when Ross is sad.

R2R2R

1. If you're going to be such a policeman about what the NFL does, you'd think there'd be an oversight "mom" committee to make sure the players don't get into trouble. Actually, the more I think about it, this doesn't seem like a terrible idea. I mean they're in their early 20's playing a brutal sport for millions of dollars and far from friends and family. They should have someone full-time to help them adjust and manage the image of the NFL and make sure they don't get into too much trouble. This would be a great Disney movie. =D

2. True, the only people who would benefit from that regime are people who insist on eating their own cultures' foods and nothing else. I guess they can't have dinner parties then and they'd have to eat by themselves at a family-style meal...

3. Maybe. But wouldn't that just give too much publicity to #blacklivesmatter?

5. Law schools don't have to have all their skin in the game but shouldn't everyone have some skin in the game? Students, law schools, the ABA and lending institutions?

R2R2R2R2

3. Yeah, I definitely couldn't relate to kids who didn't know their multiplication tables. =P

I guess our school did this too - we would have advanced classes for each of the subjects. I don't even remember how we remembered which class we were going to but somehow we did. And on top of that, we had an extra gifted and talented program for when we got bored getting ahead in our advanced reading classes. We were also very lame.