Birthday Bear YLT

morbid

perhaps it'll be awhile before we head to paris, but when we do, this seems like a good option

Penelope Trunk is an ENTJ too. makes sense.

Perhaps this is the logical extension of "privilege" but I would be completely charmed with this response.

What do you think of these quotes?:

“I think the big mistake in schools is trying to teach children anything, and by using fear as the basic motivation. Fear of getting failing grades, fear of not staying with your class, etc. Interest can produce learning on a scale compared to fear as a nuclear explosion to a firecracker.” —Stanley Kubrick (via psych-facts)

“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” —Robert Frost (via purplebuddhaproject)


a bunny waiting for her bear

Responses

1. I can definitely relate to the author's sentiments. Perhaps we shouldn't treat people differently, but there's no way we can. We are going to prefer people we know over people we don't and people like us over people not like us. Of course, "people like us" doesn't have to exclusively be "race."  I always feel bad for accidents that kill people in China - not because they're Chinese, but because it just seems like there are so many people in China that no one cares. If 1 miner dies in America, it's big news, but in china, 100 could die and it's just a byline. Another thing that is "unjust" is why people killed in these mass shootings can so much more sympathy than random people killed as bystanders or in car accidents. Those people also don't get donations, the way the friends and family of Paris' victims will. But there are many people who die every year and we have to be somewhat discriminating in how many tears we are willing to cry for all of them.

2. I guess it's good that we go to UVA, because it wasn't named after Thomas Jefferson. =P I can see certain people's monuments getting torn down - Hitler comes to mind - but most people are a mix of good and bad as most people don't exterminate people. Also, I don't think you have to be a good person to get a building named after you - you just have to donate money. I'm not sure anyone has ever vetted a person's moral bona fides before accepting their money, so why should Woodrow Wilson be any different? I think it would be a big problem to gain donors if students could revoke your naming of a building somewhere down the line without requiring a refund to the donor.

3. Mac and cheese seems like a natural thing to have at carb-heavy Thanksgiving.

4. That yoga-teacher is impressively calm. It's very sad that they had to shut down a free class that was really helpful for a disadvantaged population. If you were really mean and a little creative, you could use this logic to shut down all sorts of enjoyable and enriching activities for any populations you despised.

R2R

1. I honestly just posted that for the title. However, I am not going to be buying almonds for awhile....

2. Wouldn't put it past him. He doesn't have that many endorsements.And Special-K is solid. Back in my dieting years - something like 8-10, I ate a lot of Special-K.

3. I believe some people are very open-minded when it comes to looks. (Some people might also be desperate). But I'm sure it works best when the person doesn't look like a prune. Still, maybe it's something one can add to their repertoire like the pickup artist routine. Say what you will about pickup artists, but they seem to be a growth-mindset bunch.

5. Should I repost it in a few weeks?

R2R2R

1. You might be becoming too pro-bank... Meh, I find myself defending Big Pharma too. High-five!

4. I mean maybe it was for settlement talks though I'm not sure there's a hard and fast rule on that. I would imagine that these kids maybe had too much going for them - what with their lives and property being threatened and going to school and whatnot - to be able to contact a lawyer and get the process going.

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4. I feel apprehensive before I go biking but I usually am very pleased after my bike ride. Getting started is such a difficult thing. It's really more than half the battle.

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4. Well their spoiled children would care about the quality of their toys.

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1. I think I would try as much as possible to defer to people's own idiosyncracies. I mean, it's bad for you to be racist, but if you're the one that's marrying the person, maybe marriage isn't the place where you should learn that people are people. Maybe you should take baby steps. Of course, we are definitely not going to be friends with these people.

I don't want to judge other people's choices in significant others because I know I wouldn't want to be judged on mine.

Weird Times

There's been some blowback against the outpouring of support from the world to Paris somehow, but I think it's hard for people to make coherent arguments for why they feel a certain way to rebut the charge of racism.  I think this is a successful attempt at explaining why many feel for Paris more than Beirut, or Kenya, or other places.

Princeton is getting into the immature protesting nonsense fun.

I always wondered why people from other parts of the country never mentioned mac and cheese for Thanksgiving.

Apparently doing yoga (unless you are Indian) makes you a Western-centric imperialist.

Responses:

1. The fervor of the various "ignorant hipsters" that their food of choice is so much better than yours is matched only by the intensity of their wrongness 18 months later.  It's a hilarious cycle.

2. Does this mean we should expect J.J. Watt to endorse Special-K soon?

3. I remember hearing about this last year or the year before.  It's a neat idea, but I wonder how long it lasts, as well as how it weighs against the other factors (e.g. physical appearance) that we consider.

4. I could go for that apple crisp.  I enjoy apple turnovers, but I wonder about using applesauce instead of apples - I wonder if I'd miss the texture.

5. Maybe we can make this one our year-end posts.

R2R:

1. I mean that Ally Financial has to pay money based on this.  Maybe you are less sympathetic, but we've represented this bank and clients like it, and I would hate to have to tell my clients that this was happening to them.

4. I suspect that there were some initial negotiations, first internal to the frat, and then with Rolling Stone.  They also probably wanted this to take place after the spectacle of the scandal had died down so that Rolling Stone would be more amenable to a settlement.  You know more about litigation than I do, but I imagine that when issues are heated, it's harder to negotiate.

6. Ignorance of the law is no excuse.  And yes, these protesters seem to have an answer for everything and everyone.  If you are white, then you are blinded by privilege, and if you are not, then you are a traitor and a sellout.

R2R2R:

3. It's such an easy setting involving people who typically know each other (Jerry Seinfeld and whichever guest he invites), and they talk about common interests and experiences in a humanizing way.  I like reading Chuck Klosterman because he's good at making me care about stuff in a different way or care about stuff I didn't previously care about.  I don't think pop stars are universally loathsome, but I attach a presumption because I don't trust most people to survive what pop stars have to survive with their normal social skills intact, and I am skeptical of the kind of people who want to become pop stars generally.

4. I like the way this guy thinks.  The Gold's Gym in Rosslyn had a poster on the door that said "half of the battle is showing up."  And I think that's true - not because showing up twice will equal a full workout, but because once you get yourself going, once you get started, that inertia makes it so much easier to finish.  I don't think I've ever quit in the middle of a workout because it was too hard, but I've definitely decided not to go at all because I was tired/sore/busy/hungry/depressed.  And every time I've gone when I've felt like staying home, I've finished and felt better for it.  I like this mantra.

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4. We live in a world where people tried to boycott Chick-fil-A.  Also, do you think these boycotters care about the quality of their kids' toys over the self-righteous stand du jour?

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1. I agree, but some people decide to hide behind idiosyncrasy or quirkiness because they want to rationalize laziness, prejudice, or worse.  Also, there is a difference between a dealbreaker, a quirk, an annoying habit, or just a thing that is not common between two people.  I notice that you put in parentheses that the guy was bad at everything.  While his lack of skill at bowling may have been symbolic for you, I tend to think that you would not have broken up with him over bowling if he was an otherwise competent person who just didn't bowl or didn't like bowling.

But more to the point, we as individuals in a society evaluate the decisions that other people make all the time, if only to affirm or question the decisions that we make ourselves.  This is especially true when we consume media.  Most people would think it odd to respond to Chandler or Seinfeld breaking up with someone over some triviality by saying, "It's his life, and I don't have an opinion - he can do what he wants," at least in part because the character is fictitious, but also because one big thing we all do is decide whether what the character did was good, bad, or otherwise.  Some people may not object to the move, but they would instead say, "I think it's fine that he broke up with her because that was important to him," while others would call the character petty or shallow.

With real people, I think it's important that we acknowledge that we should not sit in judgment of others, but that is true in that we accept our friends and the autonomy of strangers.  We shouldn't stop being friends with people because they break up with their significant others for petty reasons, but we can certainly think for ourselves whether that was good or bad based on the information we have, and we should certainly talk to our friends about their and our decisions, since that's one way to be smarter about living life.  If I had a friend like Chandler, I would almost certainly call him out on his pettiness in dating.  And as for my example with the cats, while it was meant in jest, I think it's also somewhat symbolic (based on male acquaintances I have who have or like cats), and I would never advise anyone to make a decision based solely on that fact.

B

Lay off the Almond Milk, You Ignorant Hipsters!

Lay Off the Almond Milk, You Ignorant Hipsters

Eat more deliciously - eat like a man!

Let's be intimate

yum fall!

Looking forward to looking back

Responses

1. I assume by that you mean, pay money as customers so that the bank can pay back money it allegedly owes minorities to people who may or may not be minorities, correct?

2. I had read this article as well and it's chilling. The Black Lives Matter movement is likely causing more black deaths - but at least they're at the hands of other black people!

3. I can understand. It's like my mixed feelings of the Billfold. Except the Billfold is not well written, researched or edited and they don't pay the writers well. =P

4. Do we know why it took so long? Is it guilt?

5. That dean has a hard job.

6. Wapo had an outlook piece defending the protesters (of course it did) but it didn't make an argument beyond the usual "feel our pain" and I guess "this is justified payback for the media not covering our news in the way that we would have liked."

I saw one article that gave the students a pass for not knowing the law, but I don't think that's acceptable. You are over 18 - you better know the law. These aren't children.

I guess it's a sidenote that the photographer is not a person who can claim "white privilege" but I'm not sure what to make of that. If he were black, I guess he'd be called a traitor.

R2R

3. Why does "Comedians Getting Coffee" make you soft? Also, why are all pop stars loathsome? I have no negative feelings towards Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Mandy Moore, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift and Jessica Simpson (except for perhaps the latter's music). And we do love Party in the USA. I guess that leaves Katy Perry and Selena Gomez, both of whom I'm tired of, but overall I'm pop-star-positive.

4. Link is fixed!

5. This is not a complete solution but it would work in moderate temperature areas to help some people. I guess it just gives us hope that people can make things happen.

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4. But who would boycott Legos? Then you'd have to give your kid those cheapo blocks that don't work.

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4. I guess it goes towards "what does it mean to be bad in bed?" And I think you're bad in bed if you're not communicating or if you don't care. Of course, I understand that the woman in this article seems like the type of person who would be upset if the man wasn't perfect from the get-go.

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2. That seems to be the argument we have with respect to every liberal argument. I stipulate that the problem exists and is important but your method of solving it is nonsensical.

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1. I think you can make choices in dating that seem flimsy to other people but are extremely important to you or that you interpret as being meaningful in a larger sense, whereas other people wouldn't. For instance, a man with cats to you is a yellow flag, but for me, it's immaterial. I would find it hard to date someone who loved the NY Giants/the Olive Garden/California or someone who went to Tech. I dumped a guy because he was bad at bowling (also, he was bad at everything). People are idiosyncratic and I don't think that's necessarily bad. I think it's bad when you dismiss people based on societal norms that typically exclude certain types of people (race, baldness, height, weight, occupation, education, wealth).

Social Studies

I can't believe that they have to pay money based on this flimsy... everything, really.

Perhaps social media is deadlier than we previously thought.

This comes a bit closer to describing my mixed but definitely positive feelings towards Grantland.

There it is.

These kids are horrible.

As are these kids.

Responses:

1. I guess this is why marketing is a thing.

2. People do say that being present is the way to increase happiness.  I guess this is another way of saying that, and with science.

3. She seems like an interesting enough person with a reasonably good head on her shoulders.  I think stories like this make me move her out of the category of "loathsome pop star" (which is where I assume most pop stars reside) and into the category of "possibly undamaged successful celebrity."  I've been watching a lot of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee recently, though, so maybe I'm going soft.

4. I think this link is broken.

5. Lots of people have suggested that affordable housing is something that only the government can fix, but solutions like this one make me think that they are wrong.

R2R:

4. The fact that people will associate Legos with his expressive art in my view allows Lego to decline the bulk sale, even if they won't stand in the way of his acquisition of Lego materials through alternative (and more difficult) means.  I would feel differently if we weren't currently in the middle of a boycott craze where people seek to punish people with whose views they disagree.

R2R2R:

1. It was funny as a picture, but it would be lame as an actual costume.

4. I'm not sure that saying you're cut off if you're bad in bed is good as a first position, if only because people get better with practice, but there's no way to get better without communication.  I think men who have an attitude of wanting to figure it out to get better have the right attitude, but I suspect that trial and error will get you only so far without some input from the woman.  As awkward as it is to have to talk about it, though, I think it's more awkward to be lying there afterwards feeling disappointed and frustrated.

R2R2R2R:

2. The problem is that most politicians don't understand how science should work, and most scientists don't understand how policy works.  And most Americans don't understand how either works.  The claim that climate change science is irrefutable is similar to the claim made by some liberals (especially during Supreme Court nomination hearings) that Roe v. Wade is "settled law."  Each side wants to take something that is absolutely subject to change (subsequent peer review studies in the case of climate change, and a contrary holding in the case of Supreme Court jurisprudence) and claim, for political purposes, that it cannot change, and they use practically useful but philosophically arguable reasons (scientific community consensus in the case of climate change, super-stare decisis in the case of Roe) to beat back any attempt by newcomers to disrupt the status quo.  There is no doubt in my mind that an overwhelming majority of the scientists who have studied climate change and answered that poll truly believe that the science backs up their conclusion that climate change is happening, and there is no doubt in my mind that the studies and experiments they have done or reviewed back up their conclusions (to the extent that such conclusions are narrowly tailored to the performed experiments), but that does not make the 97% number relevant as an argument in and of itself.  Science isn't democracy.  Moreover, even stipulating that the science is there, that does not therefore mean that the policy proposals put forth by those who agree with that 97% of scientists with respect to their scientific conclusions are necessarily appropriate, necessary, effective, or otherwise worthy of our support.

3. I guess some people just suck.

R2R2R2R2R2R:

1. Choosing the criteria by which we date people is of course fine.  But when we think about things like morals and ethics, and when we think about what we want for ourselves, we of course have rules and judgments.  Politically, I am often a libertarian when it comes to these things.  But that doesn't mean I'm an existentialist.  I would never advocate for any law or regulation requiring people to date some diversity of people or be polite at speed dating events by meeting with everyone.  But there is a huge difference between saying that people have the right to choose a certain way and saying that that choice is good, whether with respect to that person or with respect to ourselves.  I fully concede that people make dating choices based on sometimes flimsy criteria, and there is probably no way to stop that in the short or long term.  But despite that, when people choose to date or not to date people on the basis of trivial characteristics, they are making bad choices, and while I do not feel the need to call them out on it or prevent them from making those bad choices, they are still bad choices.

To put it more simply by way of example, people may believe that activities such as recreational drug use, prostitution, gambling, or even abortion should be legal, but it does not follow from such belief that people think that their own participation in such activities is consistent with their moral codes.

B

Pretty Packaging

Michelle Obama, take notice. It feels a little bit like cheating but packaging is what sells the product.

Thinking about your own boring life is better than imagining a better one.

I don't think either of us has ever linked to a celebrity profile in a fashion magazine but here's a start. It helps that it's by Chuck Klosterman and I only learned about it because it was linked by Penelope Trunk in a career article.

I like this idea of non-zero days.

A cool (hot?) solution for housing woes in Bangkok

Responses

1. Ugh the death threats make this a sad story. It was a very happy story that this movie tanked. Maybe the next time they take over a beloved cartoon, they will incorporate some of the plot elements.

2. Ha!

3. A new way to fall asleep.

4. If Ai Wei Wei asked for some kind of discount for buying in bulk for his art, then I totally support Lego in saying no. I don't really see the problem selling the blocks to him at full price. Then again, I don't see why Lego should have to be associated with the art if it doesn't have to. It does not chill his speech and their blocks could be used to make something really atrocious that they have no control over and which they would be blamed for. Lego is in a hard position.

5. Gah I try not to think of them because another commercial jingle will just sneak its way in if I do.

6. I think you need a touch screen tv for this to be a large iphone. I do like the ability to use Siri to find things though.

R2R
1. You said it was funny here but then told me in person it was lame!

3. Pretty sure that if people read the weird things people post on social media, our jails would be even more overcrowded than they are already.

4. This is often the problem with modern feminism: they want men to solve the problems for them. The answer to the wage gap is for men to disclose their salaries. The answer to rape is for drunk men to stop for the benefit of drunk women. And so if she is unsatisfied in bed, the man has to figure that out and take the stand that she won't. (interesting that her knight in shining armor is an abstainer ("We won't have sex again because you're not satisfied!"), rather than a fixer ("I will figure it out and make it better!")). Why can't women just say, if you're bad in bed, we won't sleep with you again? Men would figure it out themselves and it wouldn't make women look so weak.

R2R2R
1. It seems like what James Taranto would put under his heading, "Fox Butterfield, is that you?" The headline would be: "More black male deaths by police officers despite more black men confrontations with police."

2. I just note the article because everything I've ever heard about global science is that the science is irrefutable and that every scientist in the world believes in nit.

3. I guess the GAL mother seemed like this. Incapable of really evaluating her actions or taking any responsibility. She said she was so upset that she couldn't find the baby's Halloween costume that she wouldn't let either of her children trick or treat. Did not seem to register that this might be incredibly disappointing to her children, who were already decked out in costume. Not saying she will pimp out her children later but it all starts somewhere.

4. I've never really partake of any of the incentives that stores bring to shop slower unless I'm already going to buy something (see: engagement ring shopping). The only exception is Barnes & Noble where I typically guilt buy stuff for all the time I spend browsing. But now that store is closing. =(

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3. Keep sharing!

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1. I guess if someone said some weird quirk their dating partner had, then the original person would seem too picky - just like Seinfeld. We want to believe we are better people and won't discount someone just for having a bigger head or man hands. But there isn't anything necessarily wrong with drawing the lines at weird places.

3. Crispy potatoes!

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4. Still have not heard from Howard girl....Criticism is important for litigators. It's not exactly a soft industry.

Oops

It was a rough opening weekend for Jem and the Holograms.

I think she should be the winner.

Bob Ross is now available online.

What do you think of LEGO's position here?

Earworms seem to be a recurring theme on YLT.

Reviews on the new Apple TV are out.

Responses:

1. Moose!  Get that out of here!  (But formal apology was funny.)

2. I would not like to spend my Saturday night in jail.

3. Maybe the way social media can redeem itself is by allowing people to review the unhinged ravings of these people and get them some help (and/or just stop them) before they turn into rampage killers.

4. This article probably comes closer to describing the unpleasant experiences of many women that do not constitute rape but are potentially being shoehorned into that description, and it is certainly a problem.  Experts always say that communication is one of the most important aspects of sex, and while I don't doubt that there are enough times where a terrible boyfriend or husband will sexually assault his significant other, I would think that sex within the confines of a relationship would at least open up the possibility of communication taking place.  Nobody is talking about likes and dislikes or preferred methods of consent in the course of a drunken hookup.  (I would further note that the sort of communication necessary for many women to enjoy sex often doesn't happen in the confines of a relationship either, and that's something worth considering.)  It's a shame to me that women hear these judgments and feel bad because the sort of guys that would be interested in listening and communicating and being part of a mutually enjoyable experience probably aren't paying attention to this gossip.

This statement is a problem, though:  “What I want is not for me to have that burden. I want one of my male partners, who are wonderful men who care about me, to have just once been like, ‘No, this is unacceptable to me. I’m not going to continue to have sex with you when you’re not getting off!’ And I can’t imagine that happening.”  What she wants is the thing that will never happen unless she at least communicates her dissatisfaction, for two reasons: 1) guys often believe (rightly) that confidence in the bedroom is a turn-on, and thus will be loathe to display weakness or what they perceive as weakness, which will often constitute "is this okay?" questions; and 2) guys worth having will be responsive to the needs of their partners, and if only to ensure return visits to the bedroom, will be happy to respond to any direct requests or feedback.

Also, the abortion piece is in my view irrelevant to the overall problem.

5. That's very charitable of her.

R2R:

1. I actually don't have much qualm with their actions, and while I will only rarely question the decision of a woman to call 911 when she feels danger (better safe than sorry), I think this all could have been solved in short order if the guys just stayed and talked to the cops in a civil manner.  These cops clearly weren't trying to shoot people (my evidence being that they didn't shoot anyone).  I don't really like the argument that, because there have been a few instances elsewhere that resulting in deaths by police officer, then running, fighting, resisting arrest, or otherwise being confrontational with a police officer is therefore a reasonable response.

2. This is the substitute for inability to explain science to people, as well as a way to discredit people's arguments without responding to them.  I am saying nothing about the arguments of the 3% or the 97%, but the problem is that that statistic isn't either.  I think there are good arguments for acting reasonably in the face of uncertain data (an analogy might be drinking lightly/moderately during pregnancy), and a cleaner environment is unquestionably a good thing, which is why I think the approach in this article is noteworthy.

3. I want to understand the mom's frame of mind at each stage of this: when she first got the call, when she brought in her kids, and when she was deciding to write a book about it.  Is it all just short-term decisions to profit without any coherent long-term morality considerations?  I only ask because she seemed more than happy to engage, but now she's writing this book, and the implicit moral position behind the value of the book is that Louisville did something wrong, which has to mean on some level that she did something wrong.  But maybe she has just declined to think about this - I'll never know because I'm not buying her book.

4. How did you not respond to 4???

R2R2R:

5. We can celebrate alone together!

R2R2R2R:

3. I just didn't want the grievance... But really, it wasn't a terrible experience - the band played some songs I like.  But the whole idea of it is kinda ridiculous.  Also, if you want to start enforcing YLT, you're going down a dangerous path.

R2R2R2R2R2R:

4. The manager would have to use judgment, which is the one skill that people seem to be forgetting about.  I listened to a podcast recently where the guest was talking about how as a society we've gone too far in the direction of rules to the point that we no longer know how to exercise good judgment.  For example, it used to be that good teachers knew how to reach their students in somewhat individualized ways, paying attention to some more than others and tailoring incentives and penalties to the particular student, with some overall general rules to which everyone is subject.  But nowadays many teachers are implicitly (or explicitly) barred from doing so, out of fear than an angry parent will sue or otherwise cause problems if her child is treated differently.  A manager has to evaluate each situation within reasonable parameters to decide what accommodations would benefit the firm and the employee.  It's fine if circumstances change, and it's also fine if someone asks primarily because they now realize that "yes" is a possible answer to a question they've been dying to ask, but the default to equal treatment in every way ultimately does more harm than good: it either eliminates the possibility of help because now nobody can get help or requires the firm to spend too much money on one form of compensation to the detriment of other forms (e.g. money) or their bottom line.

B

On carrying fake guns on Halloween

Halloween costume idea: formal apology

Also we could be: Pulp Fiction (although you need plastic guns to complete the look and then you would get arrested)


This is kind of an old article about profiling rampage murderers but I found it interesting.

I thought I'd hate this article but I thought it was pretty interesting.

This was a nice story - or at least it had a happy ending.

Responses

1. I mean, don't run, and don't loiter around ATM's. Also it is weird for someone to open the door for you and not go in after you. Why are they just hanging around being an unpaid door opener? That's like the guy who cleans your windshield for "free."

2. this: "At least 97 percent of active climate scientists say that climate-warming trends are the result of human activity." I thought it was 100% and that's why you can't doubt it. What's up with that 3%? And what do the inactive climate scientists say?

3. ""I believe that McGee came to my mom and said something to her about it, and my mom came to me and I was like 'OK,' and we went in another room and we had sex," Lindsay Powell said."

This is sad on top of sad. I mean, if someone asked to sleep with my daughter, I would not say ok. And you can't even say the money was a motivating factor because it was only $100. That's like drug addict-turned-prostitute money. So, I mean, the finances make absolutely no sense. I also kinda wonder how this has been hush hush for so long. I mean, how could that many 16- and 17-year old boys keep this a secret?

All we know for sure is that Powell is the worst mother of the year:
"Powell insists her three daughters were all at least 18 the first time they were paid to have sex. "

5. Yeah, my next pair of glasses is definitely going to come from a store. I fall under the extremely nearsighted category and even being a little off is a big deal. 

R2R
1. Just close your eyes!

3. Cats ARE dumb.

5. So a minimal celebration it is! Should we celebrate alone?

R2R2R

3. I don't understand this. You talked about it in not a very positive way when you first heard of it. Then you read this article and you make me read this article. When did your opinion of this band change? Why are you posting articles talking about things you don't like? Would I like this? Remember the name of the blog!

4. What you were missing is the marketing campaign.

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1. Maybe it's the Friends/Seinfeld effect where they would always reject people for the stupidest reasons and the audience is supposed to think, oh what a stupid reason! You shouldn't discount that person because of her big hands! But then we realize we are the same so we make them out to be psychos.

3. =D

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4. How would a manager determine if someone really needs an accommodation that they hadn't received before? If they were fine before the other person getting special treatment, why couldn't they be fine now? Aren't they all reactions to the company possibly being more lenient?

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4. We shall soon see how receptive to criticism this distant law student is....