Life Goals

I found this very entertaining especially with its state stereotypes. Some thoughts - I don't think that guy is a "sex fiend" but it's probably a legitimate dealbreaker if he's that into porn. The Chicago date didn't seem that bad. Also, how do you feel about waterboarding?

Speaking of state stereotypes

I have a bit of a bias against Jamie Oliver because I didn't like his TED talk. I mean he showed a video where he was talking with an overweight mother surrounded by the food she feeds them and said "You're killing your children." So just a big manipulative. Even so, his website is on point and I'm super excited about this Shepherd's Pie Recipe.This pork shoulder looked pretty good too.

Life goals


He's got a good walk to him.

Responses!
1. I mean, if that's the woman's most important political issue, then it seems reasonable for her to choose her life partner to some degree based on agreement on that issue.Perhaps the bigger issue is she's unlikely to choose this guy even as a friend and is probably misconstruing all his political arguments.

2. True. I hate making phone calls to companies. The Billfold has a "Do 1 Thing Thursday" feature where people do the thing that they've been procrastinating about and it's a lot of "call [cable company/bank/store]."

3.  It's just well-reasoned. It's hard to have a strong opinion when it all makes so much sense.

4. Love this: “I basically grew up on the stuff,” he said, adding that he planned to order extra for dinner and return for lunch on Wednesday. “It definitely lived up to my dreams.”
It's so nice that Chikfila really thought about its customers. I mean it could just be "open a store in NYC and make millions!" but they really took the time to make it a good experience. Good on you, Chikfila!

5. I saw this article weeks ago and was surprised that I hadn't posted it. This reminds me of that time when I think TC Williams' Math Team beat our math team in some competition and it was front page of the Washington Post. But that was the only year we'd lost and it never so much as made the community paper.

A few points:

I like how the inmates came up with a creative defense. I feel like if they were millenials, they would have rejected the side out of principle.

I like how this brings up the idea that maybe criminals are smart. I mean, you could say that they can't be that smart if they get caught, but they have all that time to work on debate and legal arguments. It is totally in their self-interest.

R2R
1. Yay! I can't wait for our weekly dinners! Hottest ticket in town.

2. Mind-blowing?

3. Yes, if you are obese, that's on you. But if you're just a bit heavier than normal, then it's harder to lose that weight.

4. I think that people have a right to request leave to care for people that aren't their kids. That's fair. You might need to take care of elderly relatives, for example. Of course, it seems a little rough for them to ask for a flexible schedule if you're not a single mother with a difficult child. It's hard to draw the line on what's fair though.

5. We can be productivity buddies!

R2R2R

4. Do you think I should complain to the manager instead of posting on Yelp? It's just on sitcoms, when you complain to the manage,r you get them fired and that's much worse than a bad review because you ruined one person's life.

5. Ooh I forgot to respond. I've always judged people based on whether I think they know the correct grammatical rules.So a their/there misuse is a red flag whereas lack of capitalization is not a big deal (particularly for me because I do that all the time). I know this article makes it seem like Bear would be the most popular of them all on online dating but I think too-correct grammar and punctuation can be a turn-off to some. =P

Big Plans

Having encountered this phenomenon before, it's not altogether surprising, even if it's still disappointing.

They could charge $50 for this and still have a line out the door.

James Taranto talks about guns and the media.

The NYC Chick-fil-A store was in the works for quite some time.

This program raises some interesting questions about how we should think about prison in America.

Responses:

1. This is the best idea I've heard in a while. Once we have a dining room table, we have to do this at least once a month. I would say Friday night and Sunday night are the big possibilities, though every Friday night might be tricky with our work schedules. Also, we could mix up the menu! I have so many ideas...

2. That's mind-blowing. I am glad that there are nice, good people out there.

3. See my comment below, but fair enough. The penultimate paragraph is the one that I'm concerned about: "'There's a huge weight bias against people with obesity,' she said. 'They're judged as lazy and self-indulgent. That's really not the case. If our research is correct, you need to eat even less and exercise even more' just to be same weight as your parents were at your age." Fair enough, but I don't think the judgment and bias are causing diabetes and hypertension.

4. These decisions are difficult, but ultimately the company had to decide whether she was adding value commensurate with her compensation. If not, then it's hard to retain her. I don't know the circumstances of her weak performance, but if the woman (and/or her former colleagues) cared about her as a person, then they should have taken a collection or offered to help her personally. To me, it's an abuse of power to use your power within a company (certain one that you do not own) to provide charity for other people. The mother was doing the best she could, but she was unable to do her job satisfactorily. All that said, her colleagues were wrong for being busybodies - sure, they weren't receiving the same accommodations, but that is beside the point. I'm sure that if they began to struggle with their job performance because of problems at home, they would have appreciated personal consideration from the company, but they shouldn't receive it just because someone else does. It would be as if everyone started requesting paternity/maternity leave each year, regardless of whether they had kids.

5. It seems like a very good system, primarily because it includes everything without allowing things to slip through the cracks with time. I recently listened to a podcast where the guest advocated a related (though not quite similar) method. I'm trying something similar with my Reminders app, but the nice thing about the journal is that you have a record of your productivity. Maybe I'll try it for 2016.

R2R:

4. I think the real issue I have with rating people is that those ratings reduce you to a number and follow you around indefinitely. It's certainly appropriate to want to steer clear of a person who does something inappropriate on a date (or in life generally), but I think it's also appropriate to expect that person to have a chance to reform. Separately, I think businesses sometimes struggle with the same issue, which is why I could propose weighted rankings for Yelp, etc., where more recent rankings are more important than more distant ones. Finally, I also worry that people are defaulting to telling "the world" (via the internet) when something goes wrong rather than telling the offender. How many ladies tell the guy what he did wrong (or vice versa)? How many people complain to the restaurant manager before turning to Yelp?

5. No response to the fifth article?

R2R2R:

1. I think my response is more that this is likely to give people who aren't losing weight but should coverage, not unlike being "big-boned," having a "glandular problem," etc. Obviously I hope the research continues and leads to a better understanding of our bodies and the obesity problem, but 1) I question the motives whenever a scientific development is reported by the media and 2) I question attempts by people to suggest that being unhealthily overweight is okay.

R2R2R2R:

1. Exactly. Recycling isn't per se better, and it is important for us to think critically about our usage decisions. To be sure, I still sometimes use reusable bags (especially when I'm buying a lot of things). Environmentalism for many people (and science for many others) is a religion, with believers and non-believers.

B

Now with more Gluten

I hope this will be something we incorporate

every now and then, a good story

squarely on the side of accepting all body types

where do you weigh in on this? I mean, yeah the employee was in a tough situation but the company can't float her forever either. Maybe they could have floated her a little longer, which is I guess the regret she talks about.

I haven't seen the video yet but it seems to have a positive response. Way more positive than you'd expect for a to-do list method.

Responses

1. I was seriously hoping the tontine was a french pastry.It seems like a good idea and as long as the group was big enough, the idea of you taking the shares of your fallen comrades seems more abstract and less vile. But I feel that as an Asian woman, no one would want me in their tontine! (we live so long).

Also what a sad family:

"The idea didn’t catch on at first, and Tonti eventually landed in the Bastille (while his son, an explorer, would eventually help found the city of Detroit)."

2. That was sad! If it's going to be sad like that, it should at least have funny animated gifs!

3. Yeah, I've been hearing about this and we talked about it briefly on our FaceTime call.

4. I was going to add this to my YLT! (I was entitling it "The Circle is coming!") I've heard so many things decrying this. However, I had already seen an app (I think it's called Lulu) that lets you rate people with online dating profiles so that they don't continue to keep getting terrible dates, and that seemed like a reasonable thing to do. Then again, there is also that site about celebrities being nice and it really lets anyone post anything about someone without verification and it seems useless and mean. I mean, it was only a matter of time before this app happened. Although maybe it'd be more useful if it was a composite of all your rankings - like your Uber ranking, if your company is ranked on Yelp, your Lulu rating, etc.

R2R
1. I dunno, I found that compelling. It might actually be tougher to lose weight now.Not saying you shouldn't keep trying, because there is no other option. But some things just were easier for our parents!

R2R2R
1. I get that too. I've been thinking about recycling lately because someone at community group said they were a big climate change fanatic and everyone's like "I recycle!" But I'm not sure recycling is all that big a deal. First of all, if you reduce, then the companies will make less and that will save all that energy from creating. If you reuse, then that saves all the energy of recycling and doesn't go to waste. If you recycle, then it takes all that energy to sort and recycle the object. I've heard that scrap aluminum or paper doesn't make that much money some years and there are rumors that it just gets thrown in the trash anyway. Even if that's not true, I've heard that in some instances it takes less energy to harvest from new materials than to recycle old ones. I guess the benefit is still that you're making less trash but if you just reduce and reuse, then whether you recycle or not doesn't seem like such a terrible thing.

Likewise, though I think reusable bags make a ton of sense, mostly logistically, sometimes you need a plastic bag.

R2R2R2R
2. Yeah I think bread needs a resurgence. With all the gluten-free and paleo people, good bread has taken a backseat! Come back, bread! We love you!

R2R2R2R2R2R2R
1. Fair.

4. It will be brung. Brought. Brang.

Two More Steps Forward

Is it time to bring back the tontine?

Here are some good lawyer tips.

We will have to pay closer attention to our data usage with the new iOS.

This is not a good development for society.

This should hopefully lead to a better society, though.

Responses:

1. Of course millennials would bitch and moan about how it's not fair. If it's not this, then it's housing prices, real wages, or something else.

2. The title in the link is different from the title of the article. In any case, it's a nice list.

3. Now that is aspirational. And inspirational.

4. That is also inspiring. If we didn't have these pesky millennials complaining about how everything is too hard, then that would be 3 for 3!

R2R:

1. The thing that mostly bothers me - as well as the author, I suspect - is how the users of reusable bags treat the non-users as anti-environment, ignorant, or otherwise a nuisance for asking questions and daring to think about this question in a more holistic way. Also, the notion that reusable bags are so clearly the easiest solution while at the same time requiring plastic bag bans or taxes is puzzling to me.

R2R2R:

2. Better, more delicious bread buns are the answer. Also, you should note that all of the bun alternatives I listed earlier (chicken, donuts, and of course mac and cheese) are delicious and delicious as buns. But I worry that going down the road of replacing bread with more flavor, which has been a trend in fast food and pizza, just makes good bread less of the focus.

R2R2R2R2R2R2R:

1. It's a problem insofar as there are social consequences to saying offensive things. Subjective offense has existed as a helpful concept for a long time, but we have not subjected people to social (or, God forbid, civil or criminal) penalties for saying something subjectively offensive. That said, we have for a while subjected our friends and family members to penalties for knowingly or recklessly saying subjectively offensive things. If Adam has a bad breakup with Becky, and Cindy is friends with Becky, Becky would likely have a strong claim of offense against Cindy if Cindy decided to start talking about Adam in a positive way or named her new puppy Adam or something like that. But she would have no claim against a new acquaintance Denise who did the same thing. The difference between being objectively offended and subjectively offended is that, when it comes to society at large, we expect people who are subjectively offended to cope with it themselves or else seek a therapist, but we also expect our friends and loved ones to know us and know how we tick so that they can provide a safe space for us in our time of need. Basically these trigger people are trying to turn the entire world into a safe space tailored just for them, which in my view is ridiculous on its face.

4. Bring it.

B

You're the Worst

I think it's bizarre though perhaps not ultimately unexpected that millennials suffer with weight loss more than the previous generation. It really can't be all about diet and exercise.

It's a provocative title but actually something aspirational.

growth mindset!

I had read about this briefly in that book about how the internet is making us stupid. it's really amazing what the brain can do. might add some neuroscience to the ol' reading list.



Responses
1. Yes, there are downfalls to reusable bags but ultimately if you already have reusable bags and wash them frequently in hot water with your normal laundry, I don't really see a downside. Perhaps the upside is not that high but still, no downside.

2. Not really my style but much better than my place now.

3.It's true and unfortunately will be overlooked. I link it to if the people fighting against the Redskins logo really cared about how Native Americans were depicted, wouldn't they work harder to improve the actual conditions of Native Americans? That's in some ways easier to do because you are working on your own team rather than against another group.

4. I feel like you would be able to taste the sissy in the steak.

5. Not sure I agree with "There is no such thing as an unaffected fashion choice." I mean, at some point you just need clothing and maybe you buy whatever is most convenient for you to cover yourself. I believe some people are like this - probably hermits.

I did find the article fascinating though. It does seem that because America is so class-unconscious now that we are liberated to wear whatever we want. Our richest people wear jeans so we are free to wear whatever we want.

6. I guess that's true. But I don't want this to break out in another Mommy wars about how stay at home moms are better for having all that time....

7. I guess we'll have to watch that documentary. Looks like some solemn fun.

R2R
1. Yeah I posted it not so much for what is actually in it but because it was exactly the issue I was grappling with. I am sorry for subjecting you to the writing. =P

2. Maybe you can use a fork and knife? Eh, just get your hands dirty!

4. I wonder how many people would want this on a plane. I figured we were the only ones. =P

R2R2R2R

1. Also the name is so pretty. Rose!

2. And that's probably one of the reasons why I don't watch The League. =P

7. Aww I thought your explanation of that joke was really adorable, if not funny. =P

R2R2R2R2R2R
1. But is this really even a problem? Yeah you're offended and you feel like you need to tell me. Too late. I already said it. And I'm probably not talking to you anymore so...

4. Pretty sure all the Tiger-mom haters are going to have a beef with your statement there.

Living in America (I Feel Good!)

Perhaps reusable bags aren't the winning solution they've been purported to be.

What do you think of this home?

This account of the racial issues surrounding policing, more than any account I've read from the activists and Black Lives Matter crowd, seems more persuasive as a true look at the difficulties of dealing with interactions between many black people in tough neighborhoods and the police.

This might be the sissy's way out of cooking a perfect steak, but perfectly cooked steak may be worth it.

Why do Americans dress so casually?

McKernan sent this article about quality time around.

There's a short documentary from ESPN on one of the moments after 9/11 that I remember most.

Responses:

1. I don't like his writing, I'm not sure I understand his thinking, I really don't like that "I was in deep meditation" is a valid excuse for being late, and I don't like his writing (I guess I really don't like his writing). But that said, to the extent that it was helpful for you to see that punctuality can be a trigger in others, then that's good.

2. I would definitely try it - I've never liked the bun that much. The only issue is that a bun is helpful to keep your hands clean and keep things together (as well as to provide some balance). If the bun substitute is different (e.g. mac and cheese, chicken, donuts), it may not perform that role as well.

3. I don't think changing the whole fabric of society is necessary. I think with each passing day, it's becoming easier and easier for women to ask for raises, take chances, etc., because social conditions are changing gradually, the only way they ever change. But if there are women (or men too - not every guy is irrationally overconfident) who reject this way of doing things and want to create a different kind of business where you don't have to ask for raises or exaggerate your experience or whatever, then there are opportunities to do that, and we have seen partial examples recently.

4. Would this be available on a plane? In any case, it does solve some problems.

5. You should have seen the pictures my Instagram friends took - just as lovely as this one.

R2R:

1. There are likely legitimate questions about the optimal level of homework, and I suspect that some students need more practice, some students want a more in-depth look at a topic, and others have it cold after fewer repetitions and aren't that interested in exploring further. And perhaps one student could wear any of those hats depending on the subject or even topic within a subject. It's yet another reason why a more individualized approach might be useful. More broadly, there are questions about the purpose of homework, and I think those get at your observation about how we are measuring this issue.

4. I agree about Monopoly. I think there is a generally modern liberal trend that shuns tradition in favor of newer, allegedly better ways, but I'm retired from learning new board games.

R2R2R:

1. I've only ever had it at wine tastings, and it's never been that impressive. It's not that I don't like it at all, but rather that I'll never pick it and don't get the appeal, which I'm persuaded is just the color.

2. If you watched The League, you should know that good-natured ribbing is an essential part of being in any fantasy football league. :)

5. It was point 7 in the article. It's just kinda insane that over the (thousands of) years we've managed to turn dogs (or other animals) from wild beasts into legitimately man's best friend. And yes.

7. It's a joke that Jamitto and I loved to deploy in college (but one that extends beyond us, certainly). Whenever someone who has typically been opposed to your general belief structure (usually in politics) says or admits something that can generally be construed as in support of your position, contrary to previous statements, you are suggesting that they are slowly (but surely) coming around to your position completely, or becoming "one of us" (you and your fellow position-holders). It's usually said in a sort of chant, as if it's happening at some sort of initiation welcoming you to the club. Also, I don't think I can keep explaining jokes to you because pretty soon it means you're not going to find anything funny. :P

R2R2R2R:

1. What counts as objectively offensive does change over time. People in Birmingham can't say the n-word in public anymore, and doing so would be objectively offensive compared to 1925, when it may not have been. But the rules for determining what is objectively offensive (i.e. as a member of society, you are on inquiry notice that saying or doing that thing is likely to offend people) should stay the same. My fear is that, with this trigger warning crap, not only is the content of what is objectively offensive changing (I don't really care as much), but also the manner by which we determine what is objectively offensive is changing as well (from some version of societal consensus with inquiry notice to trigger warnings where notice is impractical or even impossible).

4. Basically, the presence of a highly educated Asian-American minority in the United States has led some people to believe that all of Asia has the same level of education as this Asian-American minority, and that is not accurate. The sample of Asian-Americans in the United States (and probably in Western Europe as well) is not representative of Asians as a whole, in part because highly educated Asians leave Asia for the United States and Western Europe, which have more opportunities for prosperity. Our public education leaves a lot to be desired, but, like the article, I am working against the stereotype that Asian-Americans are generally smart because Asians are smarter than everyone else in favor of the more accurate statement that Asian-Americans attain high education levels because their parents did and do focus on education and have high education levels themselves, which is one of the reasons why their parents are in the United States in the first place. Rather than looking at Asian-American students as a threat to the ability of other American children to attain a high level of education (which is what the first, wrong statement suggests), we can look to Asian-American parents as role models for other parents and a sign that any student can boost his educational level if teachers, parents, and society hold him to a higher standard.

B

Mac&Cheese Burger

I read this article after looking for writing about trigger friendships. I'm not sure if this is that helpful but it's interesting that someone else has thought about this.

Would you try this? Is this "change the bun" hamburger thing spreading? I thought it would have stopped with the double down and the ramen burgers.... And if so, should we welcome this trend?

A theory on why women are less likely to be entrepreneurs than men. Of course, it seems that to change this, in some ways we'd have to basically change the whole fabric of society.

Solves all the problems we had on the plane with regard to watching movies...



Don't you want to go to Greece?


responses
1. I've heard that kids these days receive way too much homework but I don't know what to think about that. Are the homework assignments frivolous? Are we teaching our kids too much? I assume we likely don't provide as much annual homework as they do in many other countries because I think other countries have longer school years. I think we'd have to provide much more homework to come out even. But what I found to be the most confounding thing about this whole article is measuring amount of homework by hours it takes to get done. Doesn't it make sense that the kids with poorer educational backgrounds (like the U.S.) report spending more time on it than kids in the Netherlands?

2. It's kinda sad to see her go but she's so inspiring. (And yoox has a very different feel from net-a-porter. I wonder how that's going to work out).

3. That was a much better profile. I think it's really smart that he's asking these questions like why are blacks worse off now than they were 30 years ago? Also, I had no idea he was so old. No wonder he has written so much!

4. I understand there are better games but there's something to be said about a common culture and Monopoly is a commonality Americans share. As is Hungry Hungry Hippos. It's that nice idea that everything is coming full circle playing monopoly with your kids just like your parents played monopoly with you. It's not quite the same if you force your kids only to play the newest and best games.

5. That quiche looks amazing but I don't think we should make that many ribs unless we have company over...

6.Pretty sure they didn't think about it. Just eat your lunch in your fancy dining room, serf!

R2R

1..You don't like rose (the wine, I can't figure out how to do the accent)?

2. I think I watched the first ep. I did not understand it at all. But aww remember how you set up that fantasy football draft and you made fun of me for coming in dead last? Good times. =P

4. I have that fear of running completely out of money too. They say a lot of women have that fear, poor or not. I think the Cracked article is really good but people always reference it to mean "hey, you can't blame poor people for being poor" even though he is basically saying he had to figure out how to overcome these things in order to do better. On the second part, I'm not saying we have to live like that but I appreciate how they supported each other through tough times and it will mirror our support for each other under not-nearly-so-tough times.

5. What stuff about domestication? Is the remake of Cosmos that thing that Neil Degrasse Tyson hosts?

7. What do you mean "one of us"?

8. *hugs*

R2R2R

1. But don't the rules of subjective offense change with the times too? What if most people are offended by something now? Shouldn't that now be objectively offensive even though it was not objectively offensive before?

4. I am totally confused by the statement " If the vast majority (or even a simple majority) of Chinese students in China were smart enough to enroll at TJ and do well, then we would have scrapped our system for theirs years ago." Not because I think a simple majority of Chinese students can but probably a simple majority of Dutch children probably could and we don't switch our educational systems to whatever they do there. (Not saying we should because there are other factors at play but it seemed like an odd statement to make.). I will agree that there is nothing intrinsic in terms of anyone's race that helps them to succeed.

R2R2R2R2R
2. Bear is the best ENTJ there ever was, with all the best attributes. Though he might spew logic a little...=D

5. Yes, but what if your employer offers multiple plans like we have here. Is the HSA the best option for me?