It's been awhile

Let's listen to a podcast together!

I include this for the ballsy anecdote in the beginning but I also think this is a listicle that I need to paste to my door.

Well if it can learn to roll our socks, I can totally see us getting this

Perhaps we should consider only having 1 bathroom in our new place...



Hello

Making holes in masterpieces

This is not a realistic home to admire but it's got style

Fighting drugs with ....economics?

Good reading for when we're fighting

An argument for more massage and cuddling?

I've only ever posted one question on Quora - have you ever been rewarded for being generous - and I got some piddling responses.  This article is perhaps the best response.

Kitchen porn. I think this is interesting because the styles are so different. Which style calls to you?




Responses
1. I mean, I get it in theory. You should never smoke at all. You should never drink while pregnant. It's very belt and suspenders AND tight pants, but I understand where the CDC is coming from.

2. I will try to do these but I keep getting my credit card stolen and it's not because of the passwords.

3. Noted. We can have a sign at our wedding "__ Days without accidental Krispy Kreme deaths."

4. I like this guy's research but he seems to harp on the same point in every article he writes. 

5. Wow, the play by play of that game was really painful. I would be super embarrassed for everyone.

6. As I've said before, I'm a little mad at you for posting such a bad article. But it probably is "good" for me to know what insane thoughts other Asian people are having. I'm not sure if having Peter Liang is better or worse as a mascot than Michael Brown. 

7. This is key:  "It’s still unclear how big of a deal this is, but it seems that we have been underestimating the progress of Hispanic immigrants and their offspring because some of the more successful ones don’t mark themselves as “Hispanic” on government surveys." But in my mind, Asians and Hispanics are the most difficult races to hide from with your surnames so it's never really mattered to me to check off "Asian" anywhere because my name is unambiguously Asian.
I believe there was a study somewhere that when girls had to check off "female" before they completed a task, they did worse than if they completed the task without checking off their gender. So maybe the Asians and Hispanics that don't identify as such do better because they aren't checking those boxes. 

R2R
1. Agreed that a couple shouldn't be treated differently in the tax code than two single people. However, I think it does make sense for one person in the couple to reduce hours/work for childrearing. Do you think differently?
2. I think people have extra incentive to come because we are wonderful company! But yes, a home cooked meal is harder to come by these days.
3. I don't think there's anything wrong with a paleo/GF option if you want something different. I think paleo sounds like fun! Meat meat meat!
4. Let's download it together.
5. Our wedding will be both cool and timeless!
6. Maybe these hotels could be associated with overworked white collar workers instead?
7. I am agreed and I think Apple won anyway? I kept seeing all these "Apple victory" articles but I'm not sure they were hypotheticals. I was surprised at the number of people who thought Apple should comply. I thought we were more skeptical of the government and more pro-Apple a country than this.
R2R2R
2. I realize this but that was the first thing that popped into my head. It's certainly a cultural aspect - the only time I've ever seen silencers are in cartoony assassin movies so of course we should ban them so the cartoony assassins don't use them! But I thought about it more and realized that that's not a realistic depiction of how they're used.

R2R2R2R
1. I mean I understand that many of the measures that people employ to combat loneliness are stopgap measures but, unlike Louis CK's shoulder, you can beat loneliness. I think maybe counseling and 1 close friend is all you need (though I might need to do more research).
2. Well I'm only talking about us, silly! Not all the mooses who go without!

I Don't See Color

The CDC, in an effort to reduce incidents of fetal alcohol syndrome, somehow released a report with this infographic suggesting (see step 2) that women who do not use contraception should abstain from drinking altogether.  It sparked several responses.

Here are some ideas to keep the hackers at bay.

If we do Krispy Kreme favors, let's make sure this doesn't happen.  Ormsby.

A more interesting Black History Month (or just understanding of the history of black people in America) would highlight these points.

It is refreshing that people are actually talking about the harm this does to everyone (as opposed to just the harm it might do to the losing team, which harm likely inspired the stupid rule in the first place).

I'm not a big fan of this article, but it relates to some of the things we've talked about with respect to how Asian-Americans are viewed through the lens of race in America.  The article does a good job of demonstrating that Kang's perspective is based on a bizarre irrational anxiety that events plagued by small sample size still must mean something.  But it also tees up an interesting decision point for many Asian-Americans who may or may not feel as though they have really achieved the American Dream.

The Washington Post tackles immigration, mixed marriages, and ethnic self-identity, I guess.

Responses:

1. We learned about this phenomenon in the context of the marriage penalty/benefit in income tax class.  I think too many people still get married and rely on one spouse to reduce his or her earnings (in favor of childrearing, or because they don't need all of both incomes), such that it's hard to see a marriage as two people as opposed to one economic unit.  That said, I think it's fundamentally problematic for the tax code to treat a married person differently from a single person.  Perhaps there are ways to dodge this problem in specific circumstances (e.g. with income taxes, you pay the lower of what you would pay as two single filers versus what you would pay as married filers), but even those are controversial somehow.

2. This is a nice idea too.  But I like the idea of cooking (even if something simple) so that people have extra incentive to come.

3. Not sure how I feel about the gluten-free/paleo aspect, but it is interesting.

4. Would you like to try it?  Let me know if you download and I will too.

5. I don't want a cool wedding.  I want a timeless wedding.

6. It's never made sense why hotels stuck to the overnight stay model.  For all the fixed costs they have, why not try to parcel out remaining periods of time.  That said, one objection might be the sleaze factor: the hotels that have hourly stays (where you can stay for a minimum of one hour or as many hours as you like) are typically associated with prostitution.

7. This strikes me as a 13th Amendment problem.  My reading of the problem is that the FBI wants to force Apple to make something (not force them to turn something over, as the FBI already has the iPhone).  But even if the FBI is willing to compensate Apple for the labor and production costs for building the program, Apple (indeed, anyone) should have the right to say no.  In my view, if the FBI wants to prevent this, then they should ask Congress to pass a law requiring any technology that can be used to commit terrorism or conspiracy crimes to contain a backdoor only accessible by federal authorities.  Of course, when such a law is proposed and everyone realizes that eventually hackers will be able to exploit that same security opening, then maybe people will realize the folly of this idea and change their minds.  But in my (limited, partially informed, and humble) opinion, that's the only way to overcome the constitutional problem.

R2R:

2. The "why does anyone need [blank]" question in the context of firearms typically reflects either a lack of familiarity or comfort with firearms or a lack of belief that the Second Amendment protects an individual right to bear arms on a level of any other constitutional right.  Almost every gun control conversation I've had with a gun control supporter goes like this: GCS: We should ban [insert gun thing here]; Ben: Why should we ban it?; GCS: Well, why does anyone need it?  That strikes me as not much of an argument.

R2R2R:

1. It reminds me of a Louis CK bit where he goes to the doctor for his bad shoulder, and the doctor tells him to stretch and take a lot of Advil, but when Louis CK asks whether that will fix the problem, the doctor laughs and says of course not - it's not going to be fixed, and when Louis CK mentions that some professional athlete his age got treatment for his bad shoulder, the doctor scoffs and tells him that he's definitely not a professional athlete.  The sad aspect is that, for many of these people, the stopgap measures they employ are just bandages on a broken leg.  I think about the study that shows that a majority of widowers die within a year of the death of their wife because men are less likely to have a social network outside their wife.

2. Your summary of the article said "we're all ok."  My (tongue-in-cheek) question suggested that not everyone has all of those things.

B

Hard Times

I'm glad that someone is defending bears out there!

Setting aside the merits or effectiveness of the policies in question, it's mostly just amusing that the one thing we can conclude about Obama's gun control policies is that they've led to more gun and gun-related purchases.

What kind of feminist (or anti-feminist) are you?  (This is the story that accompanies that quiz.  Also, I got "certainly not a feminist.")

Those guys at Uber are so innovative.

Responses:

1. That comment more or less sums up the problem with loneliness.  I think it's so scary for people that any solution that isn't the magical discovery of a robust social network seems bleak.  These people (especially the old people) are lonely in a way that doesn't seem possible to fix.  They have makeshift solutions that will tide them over until the inevitable.  That's a hard realization.  Also, don't ever leave me! :P

2. What if you don't have those things???

3. If I just do what he says, can we not call him please?

4. I want that kitchen!  Give me the kitchen!

5. That's a nice story, and it's nice that he'll have the legacy of his life's writings to pass on.

6. NSFW!

R2R:

2. That may have been a rash judgment.  That said, I'd like for there to be a resolution to the refugee issue sooner rather than later.  Even so, we can come up with some travel ideas.

3. Agreed.  That argument proves too much.

4. That's a possibility, although it might be more expensive and disruptive since Verizon/Comcast/Time Warner would likely charge the a la carte rate for everything if done seasonally.  It's certainly worth considering, though, as long as it wasn't disruptive to other viewing.

R2R2R2R:

2. When the U.S. government budget deficit is $500 billion, it's easy to feel as though your net worth is small.  Something my mom's pastor told me that I thought was helpful was that, as an individual, you have to find the thing that you can do, your small contribution.  Many progressives see big problems and require big solutions that are so expensive that they require other people's money.  I think if we foster a belief that people can voluntarily come together to solve problems on a small scale, those small solutions will add up to something far bigger.  But it's harder to persuade society than it is a majority of Congress.

3. You add it to yours, and I'll add it to mine.  That's easy enough...

R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R:

1. That's a factual question at least in part, but the basic principle is that the media's job should be to inform the public about matters and events that impact their lives both personally and in their capacity as members of a self-governing republic.  To the extent that reporting on these events contributes to or takes away from that, fair enough.  That said, I don't believe in keeping people in the dark except if there is a risk of immediate incitement.  Yelling "fire" in a crowded theater is the classic example of that.  But some people want to argue that, for example, reporting on the San Bernardino incident is akin to doing just that, and in my view that's too attenuated.

The San Bernardino incident in some ways is a hard case, and I think it's much harder than, say, some serial killer operating far from the community whose news service is reporting it.  In my view, the role of journalism school should be not only to help aspiring journalists to figure out how to report the news, but also to think about questions like the meaning of "newsworthiness" in a manner that can consider the factors that you and I have both raised.

B

Resolutions

The first comment on this article on loneliness is: "I have to say, that what the writer describes as "Glimmers of hope" sound even more bleak than anything else in the article".

I loved this article as a way of saying - hey, we're all ok

this is pretty cool and random

I've seen a lot of apartment tours and this is my favorite of them all.

Inspiration for journaling


Bunny butt makes another appearance!

Responses
1. That was a nice article. I think weight loss is incredibly hard and should be cheered on, even if people who are always thin don't get congratulated on that. It's achieving a goal and improving oneself, which should always be applauded.

2. I thought the problem with going to Europe for us was terrorism...

3. I did appreciate the line "The Post generally does not identify people who are purported victims of sex crimes." The "purported" speaks volumes.

I also question the paragraph:

In court filings, Jackie’s lawyers wrote that she should not have to produce any of the requested documents because of certain legal protections for sexual assault victims. Jackie’s lawyers wrote that asking her to provide the information “constitutes exactly the abusive re-victimization that these protections were designed to prevent.”

I wonder what legal protections those really are and if they prevent fake rape allegations from being successfully adjudicated.

4. This person only pays for cable during her preferred sports seasons. Maybe you could do that too? It seems like all you watch is football and Netflix.

Also, I think it's kinda weird for a dad to buy his daughter a diamond bracelet. That seems like a husband kind of gift.


R2R

3. I thought it was interesting that the husband did that and the wife appreciated it so. I could easily see a story like that where the wife is like "I really don't like #8-10, that jerk!" It's nice when people are nice.

5. Just that it's one way to connect. My dad is an accountant after all. My dad and I also connect on sports, news, politics and car maintenance.

7. What made me sad is that the school was probably exultant that some of its students had been murdered. Yay we won't be shut down!

8. Of course I mean cute and adorable!

10. The formation is impressive but it looks painful!

R2R2R

2. What a sad way to live - to be a billionaire and think you didn't have enough money to change the world. 

3. But wouldn't that require us to have a joint bullet journal? Should we discuss our bullet journal topics on our calls?

R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R

1.  I think we agree on copy cat killers and that the media should change its reporting tactics. But one last question - you think reporting on such incidents is important for the citizenry to have an informed opinion when it comes time to voting for someone who proposes how to fix the problem. but what if the actual results of the reporting was fear and not added knowledge to the citizenry? what if the people who vote know enough already and the people who don't just get misinformed and scared? does reporting on these incidents have any intrinsic value then or should we weigh whether we think the media should report on this based on the results?

New Developments

Bill Barnwell is one of my favorite sports writers (formerly of Grantland), but he wrote a very nice article about his weight loss over the course of 2015.

If this gets popular among U.S. airlines, perhaps we can make it back to Europe after all.

Here are more developments on the UVA lawsuit against Rolling Stone.

And here are more developments on how millennials have been spending their money.

Responses:

1. It won't make money in the short run, but I suspect they are relying on divorce data and high enough interest rates to cover the loans that won't be paid back.  Moreover, they won't give the money to just anyone - I suspect that their rating system will give some loans to some pretty "undeserving" couples.

2. Wheel in the bacon!

3. That is a nice story.  I'm glad that she was able to appreciate the kind gesture.

4. Maybe we can check it out after we check out the Chinese place you mentioned last time. :P

5. Is it that the topic of finances is a way for you and your dad to connect, or that it's the only way?  I'm glad their relationship has improved with time, though.  When there's hurt that you've started to heal from and you just want to be able to restart a relationship, it's nice to be able to find that one thing that serves as a way to get back in.

6. I imagine that the intensity, however short term, explains the preference among many young people.  Short-term intense happiness vs. long-term consistency is the difference between social media and books.  I think both are important, though.  It doesn't make sense to have to choose.

7. The story of the guy who couldn't find a job to pay his loans after attending his crap college and instead attending law school and accumulating more loans makes me very sad.  In my view, this provides evidence that the college method of higher education is lacking.  This also reaffirms my belief that the problems should be fixed at the primary and secondary school levels before turning to higher education.

8. Do you mean cute and adorable?  If so, then yes. :)

9. Mission accomplished!

10. Do you not like the cool formation?  That took years of practice... :/

R2R:

2. They would not.  One primary reason why many modern progressives prefer government action is that they insist that change is impossible without forcing all of society to participate.  For all the money that, say, George Soros has and spends on political activities, he would insist that it's not enough to effect real change.  See also the claims of people like Warren Buffett that they would support increasing taxes on millionaires and billionaires, despite the fact that literally no one is stopping them from just writing a check to the U.S. Treasury.  Modern progressives respond to the collective action problem and the bias towards short-term thinking with government action, whereas many conservatives and libertarians respond by trying to align incentives with voluntary action.  This is why conservatives would totally go for that plan while progressives would probably just scoff.

3. Add it to the Bullet Journal!

R2R2R2R2R2R:

1. The second paragraph was me questioning the role of the media, so I agree with you there.  But the San Bernadino massacre is relevant to me inasmuch as it influences policy action on terrorism, gun control, foreign policy, and other issues, since policy action by our elected representatives is relevant to me in my role as a member of a society based on self-government and republicanism.  You are right that I was not in immediate danger of being harmed by those gunmen, but if you believe that that incident reflects the potential for domestic radicalization of ordinary citizens (because of ISIS or other organizations), then that justifies the consideration of policy action.  To be sure, I would be less inclined to agree if the reporting of the incident itself increased radicalization efforts, but that's a cost-benefit analysis that I hope that the media would consider.  Also, I would not agree if the cause of the shooting was less relevant to policy considerations.  And I acknowledge that almost any incident could have policy implications, but given the current debates about dealing with Syrian refugees, how and whether to intervene in Syria, the efficacy of domestic surveillance programs, etc., there seems to be a clear policy angle here.

The policy angle would not exist in your hypothetical regarding the Chinese miners.  The policy angle may not even exist in the case of a similar hypothetical event regarding American miners (to the extent that, say, the mine accident was really just a freak accident).

I wanted to add an additional word about copycat killers.  To the extent that the media is reporting on, say, serial killers, I think the concern for copycat killers outweighs any potential newsworthiness outside of the local area in which the murders are happening, and even then it would be close.  To the extent that the news media needed to report in order to warn people to stay on high alert for a suspect - or if the media wanted to warn about his modus operandi in order to protect, say, the class of victims that was the target of the serial killer - I think there's an argument for reporting.  But if the concern is how we as a society through our elected officials should respond in the face of a growing threat of radical Islam in America, then it seems irresponsible for the media to ignore these incidents, even if I would agree that the manner in which they report these stories should change (i.e., de-emphasizing the fame- and glory-related details and focusing on the facts and narratives that relate to the policy implications).  If this leads to a greater potential for copycat killers or even publicity of the event in a manner that increases recruits, then that is the price we pay for self-government.

B

Short Stories Edition

I don't understand how this could make money

I've read many accounts of people who live to be very old and they all seem to eat bacon regularly

this was a nice story

This isn't too far from your place, reasonably affordable and interesting.

this reminded me of my dad. except for the deadbeat part.

buy stuff! the research

this is that sad article about how we are funding bad colleges

is this what our children will look like?

sometimes the heart just needs to be warmed


is it weird that they're all stacked on top of one another?

Responses
1. Ugh, this makes it worse knowing the exact stupidity. For a little while, I started thinking maybe this is actually as good as it can be given how the system was designed.

2. Ricky Ricardo and my piano teacher were the only Cubans I knew growing up. They all seemed very glamorous.

3. Tom Brady is doing a good job deflecting. The whole media frenzy for sports stars seems designed to make them slip up - to say something they shouldn't or make people hate them. He's smart for keeping mum.

4. I've always liked Justin Bieber.

R2R
2. It wouldn't require government money but I wonder if climate change crusaders would go for this idea. Will they realize that they have enough money to effect the change they want without paying for lobbying?

3. Whoops we forgot to check it out. =P

4. Lauren and Aprotim. I'm ok with more Annandale.

6. Oh my!

R2R2R

5. I guess I'm all for anything that creates more community.

R2R2R2R2R
1. I think as a citizen, I should question the role of the media. The San Bernadino massacre is not relevant to you. You live about as far as possible away and the gunmen are dead, with no sign of a bigger plot. It seems that this story, if only reported locally, might be better for the citizenship because it wouldn't spread widespread fear or paranoia and because copycats would be less likely to know about it around the nation. I think we've discussed this before - is the citizens' right to know more important than preventing copycat killers and giving killers the fame they desire?

Of course, 100 people dying in a Chinese mine would also be irrelevant to you and everyone else under this rubric in addition to being a bummer, doesn't have any salacious details.

Modern History

The Metro is terrible, and here's how it happened.

For people growing up in the 50s, I Love Lucy was the single way they learned about Cuba, however distorted the show presented it.

It's nice to hear people who don't care about politics talking about politics because it reminds me that there is more to life.

This is a story that will make you like Justin Bieber more.  It's still worth reading.

Responses:

1. The venom in those responses is excessive and excessively unhelpful.  This stuff makes you just want to disengage, so I'm glad she wrote that article.

2. As long as the government isn't spending taxpayer dollars, I'm all for that idea.

3. Theirs is a nice story, and it's a great concept for a restaurant.  We can check it out next week.

4. Do we know anyone who still lives in Los Angeles?  If not, I like the idea of going to Annandale from time to time.  We aren't usually disappointed.  And that quesadilla looks intriguing.

5. Other than the lack of chairs and the sponsorship by Urban Outfitters, it seems like a nice life.

6. You have to give the people what they want.

R2R:

1. Only if something truly terrible happens.

2. I think I'm slowly getting caught up. 

5. Curves probably still has a place in society, perhaps for the more fixed-mindset women out there.  In my view, the real downside is the potential for inequality arguments.  It costs a fair amount of money to participate in these classes.  As most reasonable fitness buffs note, it is entirely possible to be fit without spending hundreds of dollars a year on classes, memberships, etc., in much the same way that it is possible to eat healthily without spending thousands of dollars a month at Whole Foods or on boutique smoothie chains.  All that said, though, for as intense and crazy as my SoulCycle class was, and for as intense and insane as Cross Fit can sometimes be, it's all in service of a really good thing, which is affirmative dedication to physical health as both an aspiration and a way of life, rather than a chore.

R2R2R:

4. That makes sense.  The reason I missed it was that, from now on, I associate the whole privilege conversation with bad, annoying people, and I happen to like John Mulaney.

R2R2R2R:

1. As I said, I suspect that the media in China will report it, assuming of course that it does not go against whatever reporting norms are imposed by the Communist Party there.  Part of the reason I find it reasonable that such an event would not appear in a U.S. newspaper is that, in crappy countries (and for these purposes, China is a crappy country), disasters attributable to negligence or impoverished conditions are far more common, and the answers are not necessarily sensible to an outside audience (e.g. if 100 people died in a mine in the U.S., there would be in-depth media coverage, massive lawsuits, Congressional action, etc., in large part because we understand what our government and society will tolerate and, more specifically, we think we are too advanced for such accidents).  So from a media narrative perspective, it's a "dog bites man" story.  To be sure, the death of 100 people is certainly tragic, but the tragic nature of a story isn't why the media reports on it.

This all comes down to how you define news and the role of the media.  To me, news includes (or ought to include) information that is relevant to our daily lives (e.g. weather and traffic), interesting from a cultural or social perspective (e.g. movie and restaurant reviews, community developments), and, most importantly, informative in service of the objective of fostering an informed people capable of self-government under the Constitution.  On this last point, that would include developments in our respective local, state, and federal governments, as well as foreign developments that have an impact on our national interests (in a specific or general way).  To me, 100 people dying in a mine in China would not fall within any of these spheres, but the San Bernardino shooting does, even if you do not live in San Bernardino or surrounding areas, because it will likely inform how politicians create policies related to immigration, terrorism, foreign affairs, gun control, etc.  That does not diminish the (hypothetical) tragedy of the people who died in our (hypothetical) mine, but I have never viewed showing up in the newspaper as a sign of importance.

Of course, if you have a different view of the role of the media, that is completely reasonable (inasmuch as that view is reasonable), but I think we have to resist the temptation to interpret how the media (or any entity) does its job through our own subjective lens of how they should do it.  In other words, we have to resist the taking the conclusion that the media "doesn't care" about the (hypothetical) mine and concluding something nefarious or ulterior.

B

Sleeping Polar Bear

I like that this lady gives IBM the benefit of the doubt

is this a possible way to save the earth?

this place seems worth trying

Consider this your primer for Sichuan food. I've tried everything except the chicken, which is apparently specific to this restaurant. And this is probably more specifically useful as this is my back yard. Or rather than braving the Asian restaurant lingo, we can try making this.

I want this person's life

did you know there's a camera watching you while you sleep?

Responses

1. Heavens, you think someday we will earn as little as $118,200/year? *gasp*

Still, that would be quite disappointing if the welfare state includes people making that much money. As a taxpayer potentially supporting such new initiatives, it didn't make me feel very good that the guy who won the lottery just moved from one apartment to another. It's as if the city thought, well he shouldn't have to live like that but it's ok if the next tenant who lives in his old apartment will. Even the most liberal people realize that rent control is not a solution. It's a very expensive way to solve the problem for 1% of the population that needs help.

2. Maybe I'm douchey but this didn't seem too douchey to me? Or maybe it's normal for women to discuss their clothing in this esoteric, rich person way even when the women themselves aren't rich. Or maybe I read too much Gwyneth Paltrow. And Esquire.

In any case, I know Bear is not doing anything wrong! He looks great and he shops at Brooks Brothers!

3. All I can say is I'm quite surprised that I'm getting my information on the color of the year from you. My fashion bona fides may be slipping.

4. I think this article raises a good point in that  shaming others for niceties is eroding our society much more than failing to pass emergency gun legislation ever could. Like saying there's no worth in sympathy cards, kind gestures or even *gasp* meaningful changes to one's Facebook profile picture. I guess the gym is the last bastion of community we have left!

5. I think gym as community is a good thing.  I think gym as religion is slightly weird. I also think the gender disparity is very interesting. Boutique fitness classes are the new Curves. I feel like this might lead to something insidious in the future - maybe fat shaming? women with no disposable income? - but I can't see anything too negative about this trend currently.

6. This is very interesting and I applaud Zuckerberg for trying something new. Some people see it as greed but I see it as innovation that could ultimately really help people and spur more people to invest in charity in the future.

R2R

3. I figured you'd agree with her =P but I thought it was interesting that she said that INTJs always marry ENFPs. That's not exactly us but it's very close. =P  We were destined!

4. It's the logical extension of privilege in my mind. Privilege is this idea that life is just super easy for some people and super hard for others. And if life is super hard for a kid - they are very small and have no money - then maybe we should make accommodations for them in life so that their lives are easier. We can start by accepting explanations of their lack of privilege as answers on a test. So instead of x=3, we would accept, I'm poor.

Even so, I thought it was a very cute joke.

6. My bear really is around the corner!

R2R2R

1. Are you sure that if 100 people die in China, the media will report it? That seems like something we should very much not be sure of.

But I guess the point is, I see these stories in small articles in Western papers. Maybe people don't care because China is not part of Europe. But it's a little jarring to see the big headlines for 14 people killed in San Bernadino, next to a tiny article about 100 people being killed in a mine in China.

R2R2R2R
1. True. If you're against bullying, you should be against all forms of bullying, no matter the victim or the bully.

R2R2R2R2R

I think we are ultimately on the same page here. I feel like I should write a similarly lengthy response but I think we are on the same page. We just need more empathy all around when it comes to dating. I know Pauline was very fixed mindset for awhile about whom she wanted to marry and she ended up with Justin, who fulfills just a few of those traits (male, Christian, Asian). But they seem very happy. So even though she was legendarily picky, she came around, as I kinda knew she would.

In a related-to-empathy but kinda-tangential note, I just clicked on one of those ubiquitour "she had the greatest reply to someone who said this" articles. And I am always looking for wit but it always turns out to be a mean retort and a mean reply. I need to stop clicking on these articles because they're just empathy holes. And they're not witty.

Spoiler Alert

This doesn't seem like the best deployment of scarce resources, even if we could one day stand to benefit.

This is classic Skadden.  It also makes me think I'm doing something way wrong...

Get your paint cans ready.

I thought this was a nice response to the anti-prayer folks out there.

I like the term "sweat equity" to describe this.

Mark Zuckerberg's big donation of his stock is a bit different from the usual mode of philanthropy.

Responses:

1. That's not that morbid.  It recalls the no-zero-days mindset.

2. I might be able to tolerate that flight. :P

3. I can identify with what she said.

4. How does it relate to privilege?

5. The first one describes my schools from pre-school to 12th grade (at least the use of fear).  The second one is fantastic.

6. Your bear is around the corner, bunny!

R2R:

1. I suspect if 100 people die in China, somewhere in China someone picks up the story.  That said, I've never read Chinese media, so maybe not.

R2R2R:

5. Yes!

R2R2R2R:

1. I am not pro-bank.  But I'm also not anti-bank, and I suspect that there are many people out there who would say, "Maybe that was unfair, but they had it coming."  In the same way that I would object to the IRS or DOJ jerking an individual around for no reason, I object to the CFPB or the Fed jerking a bank around for no reason.  The bank - indeed, any corporation - is just people.  To be sure, I would also object to a bank jerking around an individual for no reason, although my objections would look different since it wouldn't be government abuse of power.

R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R:

1. The last statement proves too little or too much.  For starters, it's not about judging other people.  It's about observing the world and coming to conclusions about what works and what doesn't, for your own benefit and for the benefit of the people in the world with whom you interact.  Yes, there is a harm principle element that governs when we do judge people (e.g. if you slap me for no reason, I judge you insofar as I tell you that your actions are inappropriate).  But as much as I make fun of Swan for her position on what it means to be a Christian, I do so not because I think it's inappropriate for her to say that to her friends, but rather because she's wrong on the merits.

This isn't about judgment as much as it is about forming opinions.  It seems inappropriate to go up to a stranger and explain to him why he's living his life incorrectly, but how is that different from proselytizing?  In my view, the primary difference is the merits.  But more to the point, the differences between being judgmental and having and expressing opinions are humility and empathy.  It's the humility to consider that the world from someone else's perspective might look different, as well as the empathy to try to put yourself in the person's shoes.  So if you encounter a non-believer, you don't walk up to him and say, "You're going to hell if you don't do what I, oh and I guess God and Jesus, say."  You instead find a way to understand what he is about (i.e. empathy), and you find a way to overcome his reasonable skepticism about the implicit notion that somehow you have the answers and he does not (i.e. humility).

Returning to the issue regarding idiosyncratic dating preferences, it certainly makes sense as an initial matter to assume that people structure their behavior in the face of information and a worldview that is formed by their experiences, and thus to presume that the decision to date or not to date a person because of some quirk is not necessarily wrong.  But you would stop there, and I don't think that makes sense.  We have the ability to make observations about the rationale of a person's decision, as well as to consider the all-too-true fact that many people have only a partial understanding of their own decision-making.  We also have the ability to place the decision into our worldview, as well as place our decisions into theirs.  We can reasonably evaluate these decisions even if we don't have all the information, as long as we reasonably investigate and remember that we don't have all the information (to the extent that we don't).  And we can reasonably form conclusions about all of this, whether or not we think it prudent to share such opinions with the parties whose decisions we are evaluating.

As to whether a racist person should be more open-minded about his dating choices, I think the answer has to be yes because that means he is being less of a racist.  I would not conclude that sincerely harboring racist feelings and nonetheless dating a person whom you hold in contempt for racist reasons counts as being less of a racist.  But maybe the answer for that person is to take a step back from the question of whether he should keep dating approved-race people while he works through his racism and instead try to deal with the question of how to understand his feelings of hate, contempt, etc., for a whole class of people and how such hate juxtaposes with his alleged feelings of love towards the approved-race people.  But I don't agree with the implicit idea that we should treat racist people as though they have a fixed mindset, or even assume that the only way to conclude that racism makes sense is if you have evil in your heart.  I think that in itself is an unfair judgment without more.

So yes, I agree with the sentiment of your last sentence (indeed, in my previous post, I said, "...I think it's important that we acknowledge that we should not sit in judgment of others..."), but the belief that someone has made a bad decision is not judgmental without more.

B

Birthday Bear YLT

morbid

perhaps it'll be awhile before we head to paris, but when we do, this seems like a good option

Penelope Trunk is an ENTJ too. makes sense.

Perhaps this is the logical extension of "privilege" but I would be completely charmed with this response.

What do you think of these quotes?:

“I think the big mistake in schools is trying to teach children anything, and by using fear as the basic motivation. Fear of getting failing grades, fear of not staying with your class, etc. Interest can produce learning on a scale compared to fear as a nuclear explosion to a firecracker.” —Stanley Kubrick (via psych-facts)

“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” —Robert Frost (via purplebuddhaproject)


a bunny waiting for her bear

Responses

1. I can definitely relate to the author's sentiments. Perhaps we shouldn't treat people differently, but there's no way we can. We are going to prefer people we know over people we don't and people like us over people not like us. Of course, "people like us" doesn't have to exclusively be "race."  I always feel bad for accidents that kill people in China - not because they're Chinese, but because it just seems like there are so many people in China that no one cares. If 1 miner dies in America, it's big news, but in china, 100 could die and it's just a byline. Another thing that is "unjust" is why people killed in these mass shootings can so much more sympathy than random people killed as bystanders or in car accidents. Those people also don't get donations, the way the friends and family of Paris' victims will. But there are many people who die every year and we have to be somewhat discriminating in how many tears we are willing to cry for all of them.

2. I guess it's good that we go to UVA, because it wasn't named after Thomas Jefferson. =P I can see certain people's monuments getting torn down - Hitler comes to mind - but most people are a mix of good and bad as most people don't exterminate people. Also, I don't think you have to be a good person to get a building named after you - you just have to donate money. I'm not sure anyone has ever vetted a person's moral bona fides before accepting their money, so why should Woodrow Wilson be any different? I think it would be a big problem to gain donors if students could revoke your naming of a building somewhere down the line without requiring a refund to the donor.

3. Mac and cheese seems like a natural thing to have at carb-heavy Thanksgiving.

4. That yoga-teacher is impressively calm. It's very sad that they had to shut down a free class that was really helpful for a disadvantaged population. If you were really mean and a little creative, you could use this logic to shut down all sorts of enjoyable and enriching activities for any populations you despised.

R2R

1. I honestly just posted that for the title. However, I am not going to be buying almonds for awhile....

2. Wouldn't put it past him. He doesn't have that many endorsements.And Special-K is solid. Back in my dieting years - something like 8-10, I ate a lot of Special-K.

3. I believe some people are very open-minded when it comes to looks. (Some people might also be desperate). But I'm sure it works best when the person doesn't look like a prune. Still, maybe it's something one can add to their repertoire like the pickup artist routine. Say what you will about pickup artists, but they seem to be a growth-mindset bunch.

5. Should I repost it in a few weeks?

R2R2R

1. You might be becoming too pro-bank... Meh, I find myself defending Big Pharma too. High-five!

4. I mean maybe it was for settlement talks though I'm not sure there's a hard and fast rule on that. I would imagine that these kids maybe had too much going for them - what with their lives and property being threatened and going to school and whatnot - to be able to contact a lawyer and get the process going.

R2R2R2R

4. I feel apprehensive before I go biking but I usually am very pleased after my bike ride. Getting started is such a difficult thing. It's really more than half the battle.

R2R2R2R2R

4. Well their spoiled children would care about the quality of their toys.

R2R2R2R2R2R

1. I think I would try as much as possible to defer to people's own idiosyncracies. I mean, it's bad for you to be racist, but if you're the one that's marrying the person, maybe marriage isn't the place where you should learn that people are people. Maybe you should take baby steps. Of course, we are definitely not going to be friends with these people.

I don't want to judge other people's choices in significant others because I know I wouldn't want to be judged on mine.

Weird Times

There's been some blowback against the outpouring of support from the world to Paris somehow, but I think it's hard for people to make coherent arguments for why they feel a certain way to rebut the charge of racism.  I think this is a successful attempt at explaining why many feel for Paris more than Beirut, or Kenya, or other places.

Princeton is getting into the immature protesting nonsense fun.

I always wondered why people from other parts of the country never mentioned mac and cheese for Thanksgiving.

Apparently doing yoga (unless you are Indian) makes you a Western-centric imperialist.

Responses:

1. The fervor of the various "ignorant hipsters" that their food of choice is so much better than yours is matched only by the intensity of their wrongness 18 months later.  It's a hilarious cycle.

2. Does this mean we should expect J.J. Watt to endorse Special-K soon?

3. I remember hearing about this last year or the year before.  It's a neat idea, but I wonder how long it lasts, as well as how it weighs against the other factors (e.g. physical appearance) that we consider.

4. I could go for that apple crisp.  I enjoy apple turnovers, but I wonder about using applesauce instead of apples - I wonder if I'd miss the texture.

5. Maybe we can make this one our year-end posts.

R2R:

1. I mean that Ally Financial has to pay money based on this.  Maybe you are less sympathetic, but we've represented this bank and clients like it, and I would hate to have to tell my clients that this was happening to them.

4. I suspect that there were some initial negotiations, first internal to the frat, and then with Rolling Stone.  They also probably wanted this to take place after the spectacle of the scandal had died down so that Rolling Stone would be more amenable to a settlement.  You know more about litigation than I do, but I imagine that when issues are heated, it's harder to negotiate.

6. Ignorance of the law is no excuse.  And yes, these protesters seem to have an answer for everything and everyone.  If you are white, then you are blinded by privilege, and if you are not, then you are a traitor and a sellout.

R2R2R:

3. It's such an easy setting involving people who typically know each other (Jerry Seinfeld and whichever guest he invites), and they talk about common interests and experiences in a humanizing way.  I like reading Chuck Klosterman because he's good at making me care about stuff in a different way or care about stuff I didn't previously care about.  I don't think pop stars are universally loathsome, but I attach a presumption because I don't trust most people to survive what pop stars have to survive with their normal social skills intact, and I am skeptical of the kind of people who want to become pop stars generally.

4. I like the way this guy thinks.  The Gold's Gym in Rosslyn had a poster on the door that said "half of the battle is showing up."  And I think that's true - not because showing up twice will equal a full workout, but because once you get yourself going, once you get started, that inertia makes it so much easier to finish.  I don't think I've ever quit in the middle of a workout because it was too hard, but I've definitely decided not to go at all because I was tired/sore/busy/hungry/depressed.  And every time I've gone when I've felt like staying home, I've finished and felt better for it.  I like this mantra.

R2R2R2R:

4. We live in a world where people tried to boycott Chick-fil-A.  Also, do you think these boycotters care about the quality of their kids' toys over the self-righteous stand du jour?

R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R:

1. I agree, but some people decide to hide behind idiosyncrasy or quirkiness because they want to rationalize laziness, prejudice, or worse.  Also, there is a difference between a dealbreaker, a quirk, an annoying habit, or just a thing that is not common between two people.  I notice that you put in parentheses that the guy was bad at everything.  While his lack of skill at bowling may have been symbolic for you, I tend to think that you would not have broken up with him over bowling if he was an otherwise competent person who just didn't bowl or didn't like bowling.

But more to the point, we as individuals in a society evaluate the decisions that other people make all the time, if only to affirm or question the decisions that we make ourselves.  This is especially true when we consume media.  Most people would think it odd to respond to Chandler or Seinfeld breaking up with someone over some triviality by saying, "It's his life, and I don't have an opinion - he can do what he wants," at least in part because the character is fictitious, but also because one big thing we all do is decide whether what the character did was good, bad, or otherwise.  Some people may not object to the move, but they would instead say, "I think it's fine that he broke up with her because that was important to him," while others would call the character petty or shallow.

With real people, I think it's important that we acknowledge that we should not sit in judgment of others, but that is true in that we accept our friends and the autonomy of strangers.  We shouldn't stop being friends with people because they break up with their significant others for petty reasons, but we can certainly think for ourselves whether that was good or bad based on the information we have, and we should certainly talk to our friends about their and our decisions, since that's one way to be smarter about living life.  If I had a friend like Chandler, I would almost certainly call him out on his pettiness in dating.  And as for my example with the cats, while it was meant in jest, I think it's also somewhat symbolic (based on male acquaintances I have who have or like cats), and I would never advise anyone to make a decision based solely on that fact.

B

Lay off the Almond Milk, You Ignorant Hipsters!

Lay Off the Almond Milk, You Ignorant Hipsters

Eat more deliciously - eat like a man!

Let's be intimate

yum fall!

Looking forward to looking back

Responses

1. I assume by that you mean, pay money as customers so that the bank can pay back money it allegedly owes minorities to people who may or may not be minorities, correct?

2. I had read this article as well and it's chilling. The Black Lives Matter movement is likely causing more black deaths - but at least they're at the hands of other black people!

3. I can understand. It's like my mixed feelings of the Billfold. Except the Billfold is not well written, researched or edited and they don't pay the writers well. =P

4. Do we know why it took so long? Is it guilt?

5. That dean has a hard job.

6. Wapo had an outlook piece defending the protesters (of course it did) but it didn't make an argument beyond the usual "feel our pain" and I guess "this is justified payback for the media not covering our news in the way that we would have liked."

I saw one article that gave the students a pass for not knowing the law, but I don't think that's acceptable. You are over 18 - you better know the law. These aren't children.

I guess it's a sidenote that the photographer is not a person who can claim "white privilege" but I'm not sure what to make of that. If he were black, I guess he'd be called a traitor.

R2R

3. Why does "Comedians Getting Coffee" make you soft? Also, why are all pop stars loathsome? I have no negative feelings towards Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Mandy Moore, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift and Jessica Simpson (except for perhaps the latter's music). And we do love Party in the USA. I guess that leaves Katy Perry and Selena Gomez, both of whom I'm tired of, but overall I'm pop-star-positive.

4. Link is fixed!

5. This is not a complete solution but it would work in moderate temperature areas to help some people. I guess it just gives us hope that people can make things happen.

R2R2R

4. But who would boycott Legos? Then you'd have to give your kid those cheapo blocks that don't work.

R2R2R2R

4. I guess it goes towards "what does it mean to be bad in bed?" And I think you're bad in bed if you're not communicating or if you don't care. Of course, I understand that the woman in this article seems like the type of person who would be upset if the man wasn't perfect from the get-go.

R2R2R2R2R
2. That seems to be the argument we have with respect to every liberal argument. I stipulate that the problem exists and is important but your method of solving it is nonsensical.

R2R2R2R2R2R2R2R
1. I think you can make choices in dating that seem flimsy to other people but are extremely important to you or that you interpret as being meaningful in a larger sense, whereas other people wouldn't. For instance, a man with cats to you is a yellow flag, but for me, it's immaterial. I would find it hard to date someone who loved the NY Giants/the Olive Garden/California or someone who went to Tech. I dumped a guy because he was bad at bowling (also, he was bad at everything). People are idiosyncratic and I don't think that's necessarily bad. I think it's bad when you dismiss people based on societal norms that typically exclude certain types of people (race, baldness, height, weight, occupation, education, wealth).

Social Studies

I can't believe that they have to pay money based on this flimsy... everything, really.

Perhaps social media is deadlier than we previously thought.

This comes a bit closer to describing my mixed but definitely positive feelings towards Grantland.

There it is.

These kids are horrible.

As are these kids.

Responses:

1. I guess this is why marketing is a thing.

2. People do say that being present is the way to increase happiness.  I guess this is another way of saying that, and with science.

3. She seems like an interesting enough person with a reasonably good head on her shoulders.  I think stories like this make me move her out of the category of "loathsome pop star" (which is where I assume most pop stars reside) and into the category of "possibly undamaged successful celebrity."  I've been watching a lot of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee recently, though, so maybe I'm going soft.

4. I think this link is broken.

5. Lots of people have suggested that affordable housing is something that only the government can fix, but solutions like this one make me think that they are wrong.

R2R:

4. The fact that people will associate Legos with his expressive art in my view allows Lego to decline the bulk sale, even if they won't stand in the way of his acquisition of Lego materials through alternative (and more difficult) means.  I would feel differently if we weren't currently in the middle of a boycott craze where people seek to punish people with whose views they disagree.

R2R2R:

1. It was funny as a picture, but it would be lame as an actual costume.

4. I'm not sure that saying you're cut off if you're bad in bed is good as a first position, if only because people get better with practice, but there's no way to get better without communication.  I think men who have an attitude of wanting to figure it out to get better have the right attitude, but I suspect that trial and error will get you only so far without some input from the woman.  As awkward as it is to have to talk about it, though, I think it's more awkward to be lying there afterwards feeling disappointed and frustrated.

R2R2R2R:

2. The problem is that most politicians don't understand how science should work, and most scientists don't understand how policy works.  And most Americans don't understand how either works.  The claim that climate change science is irrefutable is similar to the claim made by some liberals (especially during Supreme Court nomination hearings) that Roe v. Wade is "settled law."  Each side wants to take something that is absolutely subject to change (subsequent peer review studies in the case of climate change, and a contrary holding in the case of Supreme Court jurisprudence) and claim, for political purposes, that it cannot change, and they use practically useful but philosophically arguable reasons (scientific community consensus in the case of climate change, super-stare decisis in the case of Roe) to beat back any attempt by newcomers to disrupt the status quo.  There is no doubt in my mind that an overwhelming majority of the scientists who have studied climate change and answered that poll truly believe that the science backs up their conclusion that climate change is happening, and there is no doubt in my mind that the studies and experiments they have done or reviewed back up their conclusions (to the extent that such conclusions are narrowly tailored to the performed experiments), but that does not make the 97% number relevant as an argument in and of itself.  Science isn't democracy.  Moreover, even stipulating that the science is there, that does not therefore mean that the policy proposals put forth by those who agree with that 97% of scientists with respect to their scientific conclusions are necessarily appropriate, necessary, effective, or otherwise worthy of our support.

3. I guess some people just suck.

R2R2R2R2R2R:

1. Choosing the criteria by which we date people is of course fine.  But when we think about things like morals and ethics, and when we think about what we want for ourselves, we of course have rules and judgments.  Politically, I am often a libertarian when it comes to these things.  But that doesn't mean I'm an existentialist.  I would never advocate for any law or regulation requiring people to date some diversity of people or be polite at speed dating events by meeting with everyone.  But there is a huge difference between saying that people have the right to choose a certain way and saying that that choice is good, whether with respect to that person or with respect to ourselves.  I fully concede that people make dating choices based on sometimes flimsy criteria, and there is probably no way to stop that in the short or long term.  But despite that, when people choose to date or not to date people on the basis of trivial characteristics, they are making bad choices, and while I do not feel the need to call them out on it or prevent them from making those bad choices, they are still bad choices.

To put it more simply by way of example, people may believe that activities such as recreational drug use, prostitution, gambling, or even abortion should be legal, but it does not follow from such belief that people think that their own participation in such activities is consistent with their moral codes.

B

Pretty Packaging

Michelle Obama, take notice. It feels a little bit like cheating but packaging is what sells the product.

Thinking about your own boring life is better than imagining a better one.

I don't think either of us has ever linked to a celebrity profile in a fashion magazine but here's a start. It helps that it's by Chuck Klosterman and I only learned about it because it was linked by Penelope Trunk in a career article.

I like this idea of non-zero days.

A cool (hot?) solution for housing woes in Bangkok

Responses

1. Ugh the death threats make this a sad story. It was a very happy story that this movie tanked. Maybe the next time they take over a beloved cartoon, they will incorporate some of the plot elements.

2. Ha!

3. A new way to fall asleep.

4. If Ai Wei Wei asked for some kind of discount for buying in bulk for his art, then I totally support Lego in saying no. I don't really see the problem selling the blocks to him at full price. Then again, I don't see why Lego should have to be associated with the art if it doesn't have to. It does not chill his speech and their blocks could be used to make something really atrocious that they have no control over and which they would be blamed for. Lego is in a hard position.

5. Gah I try not to think of them because another commercial jingle will just sneak its way in if I do.

6. I think you need a touch screen tv for this to be a large iphone. I do like the ability to use Siri to find things though.

R2R
1. You said it was funny here but then told me in person it was lame!

3. Pretty sure that if people read the weird things people post on social media, our jails would be even more overcrowded than they are already.

4. This is often the problem with modern feminism: they want men to solve the problems for them. The answer to the wage gap is for men to disclose their salaries. The answer to rape is for drunk men to stop for the benefit of drunk women. And so if she is unsatisfied in bed, the man has to figure that out and take the stand that she won't. (interesting that her knight in shining armor is an abstainer ("We won't have sex again because you're not satisfied!"), rather than a fixer ("I will figure it out and make it better!")). Why can't women just say, if you're bad in bed, we won't sleep with you again? Men would figure it out themselves and it wouldn't make women look so weak.

R2R2R
1. It seems like what James Taranto would put under his heading, "Fox Butterfield, is that you?" The headline would be: "More black male deaths by police officers despite more black men confrontations with police."

2. I just note the article because everything I've ever heard about global science is that the science is irrefutable and that every scientist in the world believes in nit.

3. I guess the GAL mother seemed like this. Incapable of really evaluating her actions or taking any responsibility. She said she was so upset that she couldn't find the baby's Halloween costume that she wouldn't let either of her children trick or treat. Did not seem to register that this might be incredibly disappointing to her children, who were already decked out in costume. Not saying she will pimp out her children later but it all starts somewhere.

4. I've never really partake of any of the incentives that stores bring to shop slower unless I'm already going to buy something (see: engagement ring shopping). The only exception is Barnes & Noble where I typically guilt buy stuff for all the time I spend browsing. But now that store is closing. =(

R2R2R2R

3. Keep sharing!

R2R2R2R2R

1. I guess if someone said some weird quirk their dating partner had, then the original person would seem too picky - just like Seinfeld. We want to believe we are better people and won't discount someone just for having a bigger head or man hands. But there isn't anything necessarily wrong with drawing the lines at weird places.

3. Crispy potatoes!

R2R2R2R2R2R2R

4. Still have not heard from Howard girl....Criticism is important for litigators. It's not exactly a soft industry.

Oops

It was a rough opening weekend for Jem and the Holograms.

I think she should be the winner.

Bob Ross is now available online.

What do you think of LEGO's position here?

Earworms seem to be a recurring theme on YLT.

Reviews on the new Apple TV are out.

Responses:

1. Moose!  Get that out of here!  (But formal apology was funny.)

2. I would not like to spend my Saturday night in jail.

3. Maybe the way social media can redeem itself is by allowing people to review the unhinged ravings of these people and get them some help (and/or just stop them) before they turn into rampage killers.

4. This article probably comes closer to describing the unpleasant experiences of many women that do not constitute rape but are potentially being shoehorned into that description, and it is certainly a problem.  Experts always say that communication is one of the most important aspects of sex, and while I don't doubt that there are enough times where a terrible boyfriend or husband will sexually assault his significant other, I would think that sex within the confines of a relationship would at least open up the possibility of communication taking place.  Nobody is talking about likes and dislikes or preferred methods of consent in the course of a drunken hookup.  (I would further note that the sort of communication necessary for many women to enjoy sex often doesn't happen in the confines of a relationship either, and that's something worth considering.)  It's a shame to me that women hear these judgments and feel bad because the sort of guys that would be interested in listening and communicating and being part of a mutually enjoyable experience probably aren't paying attention to this gossip.

This statement is a problem, though:  “What I want is not for me to have that burden. I want one of my male partners, who are wonderful men who care about me, to have just once been like, ‘No, this is unacceptable to me. I’m not going to continue to have sex with you when you’re not getting off!’ And I can’t imagine that happening.”  What she wants is the thing that will never happen unless she at least communicates her dissatisfaction, for two reasons: 1) guys often believe (rightly) that confidence in the bedroom is a turn-on, and thus will be loathe to display weakness or what they perceive as weakness, which will often constitute "is this okay?" questions; and 2) guys worth having will be responsive to the needs of their partners, and if only to ensure return visits to the bedroom, will be happy to respond to any direct requests or feedback.

Also, the abortion piece is in my view irrelevant to the overall problem.

5. That's very charitable of her.

R2R:

1. I actually don't have much qualm with their actions, and while I will only rarely question the decision of a woman to call 911 when she feels danger (better safe than sorry), I think this all could have been solved in short order if the guys just stayed and talked to the cops in a civil manner.  These cops clearly weren't trying to shoot people (my evidence being that they didn't shoot anyone).  I don't really like the argument that, because there have been a few instances elsewhere that resulting in deaths by police officer, then running, fighting, resisting arrest, or otherwise being confrontational with a police officer is therefore a reasonable response.

2. This is the substitute for inability to explain science to people, as well as a way to discredit people's arguments without responding to them.  I am saying nothing about the arguments of the 3% or the 97%, but the problem is that that statistic isn't either.  I think there are good arguments for acting reasonably in the face of uncertain data (an analogy might be drinking lightly/moderately during pregnancy), and a cleaner environment is unquestionably a good thing, which is why I think the approach in this article is noteworthy.

3. I want to understand the mom's frame of mind at each stage of this: when she first got the call, when she brought in her kids, and when she was deciding to write a book about it.  Is it all just short-term decisions to profit without any coherent long-term morality considerations?  I only ask because she seemed more than happy to engage, but now she's writing this book, and the implicit moral position behind the value of the book is that Louisville did something wrong, which has to mean on some level that she did something wrong.  But maybe she has just declined to think about this - I'll never know because I'm not buying her book.

4. How did you not respond to 4???

R2R2R:

5. We can celebrate alone together!

R2R2R2R:

3. I just didn't want the grievance... But really, it wasn't a terrible experience - the band played some songs I like.  But the whole idea of it is kinda ridiculous.  Also, if you want to start enforcing YLT, you're going down a dangerous path.

R2R2R2R2R2R:

4. The manager would have to use judgment, which is the one skill that people seem to be forgetting about.  I listened to a podcast recently where the guest was talking about how as a society we've gone too far in the direction of rules to the point that we no longer know how to exercise good judgment.  For example, it used to be that good teachers knew how to reach their students in somewhat individualized ways, paying attention to some more than others and tailoring incentives and penalties to the particular student, with some overall general rules to which everyone is subject.  But nowadays many teachers are implicitly (or explicitly) barred from doing so, out of fear than an angry parent will sue or otherwise cause problems if her child is treated differently.  A manager has to evaluate each situation within reasonable parameters to decide what accommodations would benefit the firm and the employee.  It's fine if circumstances change, and it's also fine if someone asks primarily because they now realize that "yes" is a possible answer to a question they've been dying to ask, but the default to equal treatment in every way ultimately does more harm than good: it either eliminates the possibility of help because now nobody can get help or requires the firm to spend too much money on one form of compensation to the detriment of other forms (e.g. money) or their bottom line.

B

On carrying fake guns on Halloween

Halloween costume idea: formal apology

Also we could be: Pulp Fiction (although you need plastic guns to complete the look and then you would get arrested)


This is kind of an old article about profiling rampage murderers but I found it interesting.

I thought I'd hate this article but I thought it was pretty interesting.

This was a nice story - or at least it had a happy ending.

Responses

1. I mean, don't run, and don't loiter around ATM's. Also it is weird for someone to open the door for you and not go in after you. Why are they just hanging around being an unpaid door opener? That's like the guy who cleans your windshield for "free."

2. this: "At least 97 percent of active climate scientists say that climate-warming trends are the result of human activity." I thought it was 100% and that's why you can't doubt it. What's up with that 3%? And what do the inactive climate scientists say?

3. ""I believe that McGee came to my mom and said something to her about it, and my mom came to me and I was like 'OK,' and we went in another room and we had sex," Lindsay Powell said."

This is sad on top of sad. I mean, if someone asked to sleep with my daughter, I would not say ok. And you can't even say the money was a motivating factor because it was only $100. That's like drug addict-turned-prostitute money. So, I mean, the finances make absolutely no sense. I also kinda wonder how this has been hush hush for so long. I mean, how could that many 16- and 17-year old boys keep this a secret?

All we know for sure is that Powell is the worst mother of the year:
"Powell insists her three daughters were all at least 18 the first time they were paid to have sex. "

5. Yeah, my next pair of glasses is definitely going to come from a store. I fall under the extremely nearsighted category and even being a little off is a big deal. 

R2R
1. Just close your eyes!

3. Cats ARE dumb.

5. So a minimal celebration it is! Should we celebrate alone?

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3. I don't understand this. You talked about it in not a very positive way when you first heard of it. Then you read this article and you make me read this article. When did your opinion of this band change? Why are you posting articles talking about things you don't like? Would I like this? Remember the name of the blog!

4. What you were missing is the marketing campaign.

R2R2R2R
1. Maybe it's the Friends/Seinfeld effect where they would always reject people for the stupidest reasons and the audience is supposed to think, oh what a stupid reason! You shouldn't discount that person because of her big hands! But then we realize we are the same so we make them out to be psychos.

3. =D

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4. How would a manager determine if someone really needs an accommodation that they hadn't received before? If they were fine before the other person getting special treatment, why couldn't they be fine now? Aren't they all reactions to the company possibly being more lenient?

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4. We shall soon see how receptive to criticism this distant law student is....